I am just BLAZING through books this year. Reading like crazy! Like one a month - quite the dizzying pace! (heh) I guess having three or four different new jobs this year has taken a lot out of me.

7. My Name Is Will: A Novel of Sex, Drugs, and Shakespeare, by Jess Winfield. A strange book that tells the stories of two young men, one named William Shakespeare Greenberg, a guy in 1985 California who is allegedly working on his masters thesis but spends most of his time stoned. The other man is the actual William Shakespeare, a budding writer, growing up in a Catholic family during a time of Catholic persecution. It is twisted, but drew me in and I enjoyed it. I think the more a reader follows Shakespeare, the more that reader will enjoy this book.

6. From Dead to Worse (Southern Vampire Mysteries, No. 8), by Charlaine Harris. Another delightful romp through a land where vampires are Southern gentlemen - sometimes.

5. Neither Here nor There: Travels in Europe, by Bill Bryson. More travel-stories, this time through Europe.
"IN WINTER, Hammerfest is a thirty-hour ride by bus from Oslo, though why anyone would want to go there in winter is a question worth considering."

Tags: books

Woke up this morning at 5:30am with my left leg hurting too much to go back to sleep. This is unfortunate, since my alarm doesn't go off until 7:30 and I wasn't asleep until after midnight....

Took some advil and tried to go back to sleep, but at 6:20 I gave up and got up for the day. I put away the dishes in the kitchen, now I am eating bananana nut cheerios. (I know how to spell banana, I just have trouble stopping.) I need to do some puttering about anyway, my house is a disaster area.

I had knee surgery on May 7, so today is my two-month anniversary. Nice way to celebrate it, being too sore to sleep. The weird thing is that, while my knee hurts (particularly when I straighten it), my hip seems to hurt more. By "hip" I really mean butt, top outer thigh, sit bone, and maybe lower back. I expect it's related to the knee issue in some way. It's not very easily to define; I just know that it hurts, I don't like it, and I don't know what to do about it.

Is this what getting old is like? Will more body parts just gradually join in the cacophony until I can't even think over all the noise?

Tags: health, knees

Impossible to believe, really. So much has changed -- my life is better than it was then in so many ways.... but I still occasionally feel a bit of sorrow for that other path I'd begun so long ago.

S. M. L
June 29, 1970
July 6, 1999
never forgotten


Everybody deserves to be remembered, so I set aside one day a year to do just that.

Tags: stevie

In 2006, I visited Traverse City with some friends. The four of us went for a ride on a local bike trail. While we were out riding, disaster struck -- somebody rudely locked our car in a soccer field. The whole story in all of its drama can be found here. Here is a photo of three of the group (R is taking the photograph).

Traverse City 2006


The guy on the left in the photo was somebody I barely knew, a friend of my friends. In an interesting twist of fate, he and I started dating over a year after this photo was taken.

He and I are still dating, and two days ago, the original group of us decided to return to Traverse City and ride the trail again! This time we conquered it successfully, and nobody had to get trapped in anything. Naturally along the ride we returned to the scene of that fateful soccer field incident (although we were very careful not to get our car anywhere near it).

R suggested that we should document our return visit, so I handed him my camera phone. After all, he took the original photos. In retrospect, I should have had somebody take an additional picture with all four of us standing there -- but I wasn't thinking clearly. It was a beautiful day, nobody was trapped in a soccer field, and I was eager to continue our ride.

Traverse City 2009

Tags: biking, dating, travel

I am going Up North this weekend. Mentally I've been packing in my head, "Wash the beach stuff, get the coverup, don't forget the new sundress...." Then I noticed my white shrivled hands, too cold to type well. It's been downright chilly this week! Do I really think our Fourth of July weekend will be sunny and warm?

It's supposed to be. It's July after all, and I certainly hope so. I know that Northern climates are often cooler than down south -- which incidentally is irritatingly the opposite of the whole "heat rises" thing I used to believe when I was younger.

I looked on weather.com, and it looks like tomorrow will be quite rainy. Hopefully the rest of the days will be at least partially sunny.... and maybe even some warmth? I'd really like some nice sunny warm days -- I've never gotten to wear my new sundress yet! It's been too cold.

I'm a lizard; I need my chances to bask in the sun. It's my holiday weekend; I need a chance to warm up and relax!

Tags: travel

I need a new credit card. I used to use a Worldperks Visa, but as NWA and Delta merged they've terminated my card. I can get a Delta card, or a "FlexPerks" card through my previous carrier... but since I need to switch cards anyway I thought I should reevaluate my options.

I like having a rewards card of some sort. My policy is to use it for all of my monthly purchases, then pay it in full every month. This was earning me 1k to 2k miles per month. Thus the interest rate isn't very important, but a none-to-small fee would be nice. What are the best rewards out there? I like earning miles, because I fly a lot -- but maybe there is something more valuable.

So of course I'll ask the internet.... What do you use?

We were at a restaurant, sharing several plates of tapas. One of my companions asked, "Should we just pass them all around clockwise?"

Instinctively, I glanced at my watch to see which direction was clockwise. "Oh crap, we can't, I'm wearing a digital watch!"

On the radio Monday, I heard it mentioned that the Cubs were in town, playing the Tigers. Since M and I went to see the Cubs in Chicago, I thought it'd be fun to try to see them play here as well. I'm a Tigers fan first and foremost, so I also liked the idea of cheering on the Tigers.

I texted my idea to M, and he thought it was a fine one. We decided Wednesday would work best for us, so I went online and bought some last-minute tickets.

It wasn't until the next day that we realized we'd accidentally selected the same night as the Freedom Festival, the giant fireworks display shared between Detroit and Windsor. Oops! That complicated our planned trip downtown.... however there was nothing to be done about it, the tickets were already bought. We decided to just get out of work as quickly as possible, and aim to leave for downtown as early as possible.

Naturally that meant both of us fighting through rush-hour traffic, trying to meet at my house. We managed to get to my place and change clothes later than anticipated, and hit the road again, fearing the worst. Fortunately it turned out that traffic downtown was not nearly as bad as we'd feared. I'm sure it got worse as the evening progressed though, so it's probably good that we managed to get out when we did.

The game was fun, and the Tigers won - yay! My sportswriter friend D was at the game, which was useful. At one point a weird play happened (everyone thought the inning was over, the players left the field, then they came back out and re-did the last play). I quickly pulled out my phone and emailed D asking "What happened, why did they come back?" He was able to let us know that the ball had hit the batter's helmet, so the play was dead.

It was a fun evening, complete with hotdogs, lemonade, about a zillion pitchers, and fireworks over the outfield that started in the eighth inning. The traffic getting back home was a huge mess, but I'm still glad we decided to be spontaneous and go!

I was driving home today, and as I approached my house I saw my neighbor in my driveway, holding something, coming from my backyard. I rolled down the window and asked, "How's it going?"

"Terrible," he said. "Our cat is lost." I realized he was holding a tupperware container full of cat food. I asked a few more details, then promised to keep my eyes open.

I went inside and heard his voice outside as he paced the neighborhood, "Sparty!" He was clearly devastated, so I emailed my local friends on the off-chance somebody had seen the poor lost kitty. These are my favorite neighbors, really kind people, which makes the situation even sadder. They live directly across the street from me.

A little while later I looked out my window and saw his wife, sitting dejectedly on her porch all alone. I walked across the street and called, "No kitty yet?"

She shook her head and asked, "Do you know how to do craigslist?" As I came closer I realized she was on the verge of tears. I gave her a big hug, and offered to come inside and post an ad for her. She showed me her computer, and the signs she had made and posted all over the neighborhood.

I uploaded the information to craigslist for her. I then told her I was going for a bike ride anyway, so I'd look for him while I rode. I rode all over the neighborhood. At one point I actually saw a cat dive under a bush, but when I called "Sparty" it didn't reappear. The brief glimpse I had was of a different-looking cat than Sparty, so after circling the area and calling a few more times I continued on my way.

Shortly after I put my bike away and came back inside, I heard the voices of several neighbors calling the cat. I realized they were right outside my window and hurried back out again. Apparently somebody thought they had spotted Sparty running underneath my car! We spent several minutes with flashlights searching my backyard. She asked me if I had dry food in a plastic container, so I ran inside and made a little tupperware container with cat food she could rattle enticingly while calling the cat.

There were neighbors from at least four houses! The neighborhood is rallying around the lost cat... Sadly, Sparty did not reappear. We decided that we'd probably scared him away, all converging on my backyard with flashlights, so we dispersed.

I sure hope he comes home. Sparty is an outdoor cat, but is only allowed in his own backyard. Somebody left the gate open though, and he wandered off. On the plus side, he knows where his home is, so hopefully he'll stop hiding and come home quickly. I just heard my neighbor's voice calling again, so he's not back yet. Sparty come home.... your parents miss you!

Tags: kitties

I was jolted from sleep early this morning by an explosion. At least, it was so loud, sustained, and angry-sounding that I thought it had to be either some kind of factory explosion, or Detroit was being bombed. Both seemed equally likely to me in my sleep-addled morning, and I lay in bed with my eyes closed, waiting for the sound of sirens to confirm my belief.

I imagined the stories I would tell later, when it was all over the news and people were taking about it, exchanging "where were you?" sorts of tales. "Yes, I heard it. It woke me up from a sound sleep, it was so close." I contemplated getting online to read the news, or perhaps hiding out in my basement.

The minutes ticked away without any sirens or screaming in the streets, and I started to question my theory. Then there was a flash of light, bright enough that I saw it through closed eyes and drawn blinds. Then five seconds later, another explosion, and I had to admit to myself that it was just thunder, not the end of the world.

The rolling thunder was enough to shake my bed, but the majority of the storm was elsewhere.... I only got rain and noise.

Tags: sleep

"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly." -Rose Franken

"Nuts just take up space where chocolate ought to be." -a card

"Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once." -an email

Tags: quotes

Little kids are constantly asked what they want to "be" when they grow up. I went through all the usuals -- astronaut, writer, first female president of the united states, scientist, tv star.... same as all of us. I had one fairly unique obsession that stuck with me for quite some time though.

I wanted to be a stuntman.

I knew that was the wrong word, that since I was a girl it had to be stunt person or stunt actor. However I always saw them referred to on television as stuntmen. When the credits go by today, it just says "Stunts". Mostly I just said that I wanted to do stunts in movies, to keep it non-gender-specific.

I was always kind of a monkey and a daredevil as a kid. I didn't fear heights, I loved them. I was constantly climbing trees, walking on the tops of walls, scrambling over rocks and roofs, swinging from low-hanging branches, doing flips over railings. I loved watching the stuntmen tumble off the top of buildings, leap onto moving trains, pretend to fight, fall dramatically, and land unharmed.

Being a stunt actor looked like fun, and it looked like it'd fulfill my love of adrenaline. You'd get all the fun exciting jobs, all of the glamor of Hollywood, the money that comes from movies, and you wouldn't have to be as "in the spotlight" as the stars.

At eight years old I revealed my goal to my mother, and asked her how to pursue it. She suggested I enroll in gymnastics classes. I was probably the only kid in beginners gymnastics who planned on doing stunts, who pictured dive-rolling under streams of bullets, or somersaulting over the roofs of trains.

As time went on though, I found my daredevilry tempered with a bit of caution. I got hurt a few times and didn't like it. I still wanted to climb to the highest heights and swing and clamor around on them, but I was no longer as comfortable diving off them. Back-handsprings made me nervous.

At the same time, I found myself growing to like ice skating. Some of the speed and excitement, some physical challenge, plus music to move to. There weren't a lot of Hollywood stunt class opportunities in Michigan, but there were plenty of ice skating and gymnastic meets. I even tried tumbling off diving boards with the diving team for awhile -- which was fun, but showed no hope of turning into a movie career.

I never stopped wanting to be a stunt person, it just faded away, replaced with other concerns that seemed more relevant. Although I studied karate in college for awhile, I had stopped thinking of myself as a stunt actor in training. I was just somebody who liked to do cool things with her body.

....but I never stopped watching movie credits to read the list of stunt people (and look for girls' names). If I had had the determination and perseverance to become a stunt woman, this could have been me. I'd have rocked this role.

Tags: the past, thoughtful

A couple of weeks ago, I decided I needed to plant some flowers. I was inspired by the patch of weeds in front of my porch. That area has lots of pretty tulips in the spring, but nothing but weeds after that. With the weeds as tall as the expired tulips as tall as my knees, it was time to do something.

M was visiting my place for the weekend, but ducked out to the Royal Oak library for a few hours to get some studying done. (He has to retake his medical boards in less than a month.) I put on my gardening gloves and got to work weeding. As I pulled and dug and extracted as much piled up junk as possible, I felt a sharp pain in my thumb. I ignored it and kept working -- shortly after, I found myself pulling out an old stick covered with inch-long skinny thorns. "Oh," I thought to myself cleverly, "that's probably what hurt me."

As I tossed the thorny stick aside and continued to weed, my thumb continued to hurt. Wondering if I was bleeding, I pulled off my glove to inspect. No blood, but part of a thorn was sticking out of my thumb. Ah-ha! It had gone right through the glove and embedded itself firmly, then broken off. I attempted to pull it out with my fingers, but without success. There seemed to be a good bit still sticking out, so I went into my house to find some tweezers.

Of course the thorn had to be in my right thumb, and I am right-handed. I few efforts at pulling it out with my left hand only succeeded in breaking the end off. Darn. With an internal shrug, I went back to my gardening.

At some point, M texted me saying, "Don't get hypertension (high blood pressure)." He likes to give me helpful advice, so whenever in his studies he comes across something I should avoid, he lets me know. I texted back saying, "No problem, I have good blood pressure. But I may need your skills when you get back, I have a thorn issue."

By the time he returned, I had the whole section weeded, and I'd gone to the market and bought a few flats of petunias. I was busily digging holes and sticking the flowers in them as he pulled up.

He complimented me hard work and my green thumb, then I showed him the thorn in it. "Can you try to remove it? It really hurts." I took him inside and gave him the tweezers.

"Wait, are these the kind that come from a pocket knife?"

"Yes, it's all I had. But you're good at surgery, these should be enough.... right??"

He agreed to try, and began squeezing my thumb to get more of the splinter to poke out, and picking at the area with the little swiss army tweezers. It was very tender, and started hurting a lot more as he picked at the tiny area. After a few minutes of these efforts, I began whimpering in my best imitation of a puppy with a thorn in her paw. I tried to pull away, but he insisted he almost had it.

Finally he got just the right grip on the tiny thing poking out of my thumb, and pulled it out. Despite having looked very small, and despite having been broken off multiple times by our combined efforts, it was actually a fairly long and sharp thorn that had been still in my thumb. No wonder it hurt!

I sighed with relief and began washing my hands. He did a little victory dance. "My very first surgery performed on my girlfriend!" My hero.

Tags: dating, house

I gave blood today at my office's blood drive. Surprisingly, it went WAY better than it did last time. This is particularly surprising given that I had surgery just over a month ago. I would expect that my body's not back to "normal" yet. If it had gone poorly today, I wouldn't have been surprised. Instead, it was a breeze. All of my stats were good, and I pumped it out nice and fast -- I filled my pint bag in just 7 minutes 22 seconds. That's better than most people do!

That was more like I'm used to for donating blood. I have no bruising, and in fact my arm doesn't hurt at all. The only annoyance is the finger-prick they did, to make sure I had enough iron. Mine happens to be exactly where I type, and for whatever reason it hurts quite a bit.

Just before starting, the nurse was looking for a vein, and she noted out loud that they've used the one on the outside a lot. I suggested that she use a different one, because they'd blown out that one last time. She selected a nice one that looked underused, and it was easy-peasy. "You're my new favorite nurse," I told her. She said she'd be happy to take my blood anytime.

Notes for myself: I gave blood after lunch this time, and made sure to eat a substantial meal. I also had some water with lunch. Perhaps those things contributed to things going so well, or perhaps the different vein, or maybe the phase of the moon.... who knows? But it was a very satisfying experience.

I'd tell more stories, but it hurts to type. Giving blood? Easy! But the finger-prick...? Ouchie. Quite silly really.

Tags: give blood

My birthday went well. The actual day was quiet but nice -- I had a frustrating day at work, but a really nice dinner out with my boy afterward to help swing the balance into a good day. I'm finding that 38 doesn't feel much different than 37 did, but neither year seems believable to me. Aren't I only just in my 30's? Or maybe late 20's?

I may feel young, but my knee and hip have been feeling old though. I think the hip pain is correlated with the knee hurting. That plus sitting too much - sitting isn't good for me, and I find my hip, butt, lower back, and leg all the way down to my foot aching sometimes. I've still been favoring my knee a lot, which probably makes me all out of kink too. Nighttime is the worst, sometimes everything starts throbbing and I can't find a comfortable position.

Yeah, I sound like somebody in my twenties. Right. (sarcasm) But it's all injury-related, I swear! I'm not old, it's just this stupid knee that is messing up my body.

I was really depressed about the knee thing last week, because everything was hurting so much. I was particularly afraid that the pain I am feeling right now was as good as it gets. I'm a month out of surgery, so I thought that should be mostly healed. Stiffness and swelling from surgery doesn't scare me, but what I think of as the "cartilage pain" does scare me. The inner joint still hurts a lot, and I can feel where the exposed bone rubs when I walk or go upstairs. I was sad and worried, because I thought that was going to be how my knee always felt, and it was only going to get worse as time goes by.

However on friday I consulted with my Personal PA, and he reassured me that even the cartilage pain is temporary (or at least some of it probably is). Right now the area is inflamed from the surgery and cleanup, and it's still healing. As it heals, it will likely go back to pre-surgery levels of usefulness, which while not perfect were better than it feels now. The fact that it hurts now does not mean it will always hurt like this.

That may seem obvious, given that I just had surgery. But I thought the recovery would only be about a month. I knew it was still stiff and healing, but I thought that the lack-of-cartilage pain was unrelated to the healing pain. (If that makes any sense.) Anyway my PPA says it may take as much as another month before I can consider the surgery to be healed. Not until then will I know what my knee will "really" feel like, as opposed to its still-healing state. Only then will I really know the results of the surgery.

This rambly explanation may make no sense to anybody but me, because it's the weird stuff that was going on it my head. But it makes sense to me, and it's making me feel more relieved and hopeful about things, so that's good.

To be honest I've been incredibly discouraged about the whole knee thing. I really don't want more surgery, I don't think this surgery actually did anything, and basically I'm afraid that with or without it -- I'm just never going to have a knee that functions at the activity level I'd like to keep. I worry that all I'm doing is making things worse by trying to repair it, and I'm chasing after some unlikely dream of knee health. So.... it's good to know that things at least might be better than they seem.

I've been resuming activities gradually. I have gone for several short-ish bike rides outside, in the vicinity of seven miles, taking it fairly slow. Last night and this evening I rode on my bike trainer for around 40 minutes, pushing it a bit more but still more gently than normal. It gets sore after 30 minutes or so, and it hurts if I really dig into the pedals -- but otherwise it's doing well. The actual pedaling motion doesn't hurt at all, and my range of motion is pretty good.

I haven't tried skating, or anything more tricky than walking and cycling. Given that even walking still starts hurting pretty quickly, I figure I should save the skating experiment for a little while longer. Not that I see myself doing tons of skating, but I want to have that as an option. That and skiing. And other just general fun activity sorts of things. I don't want to run a marathon. Just be able to play without significant pain. That doesn't seem like toooo much to ask.

[I have a bit of an advantage, dating a PA in orthopedics. He's consulted with some of the U-M knee docs he works with. Unfortunately, it also just kind of complicates matters. So far, of four doctors who voiced opinions (mine included), I have four different answers. 1: carticel injections. 2: cadaver cartilage graft. 3: just use an unloading brace, see what happens. 4: use an unloading brace, microfractures, and a minor osteotomy.

I'd love to be able to get all four of them in a room and listen to them debate it, like on House! Unfortunately since that's not possible, I just have to keep thinking it over and figure it out on my own. For now, I'm still working on healing and the wait-and-see approach.]

Tags: birthday, knees

Tuesdays aren't the best days for birthdays, but this one will have to do. I'm going to make it a good day! More to come later, perhaps even a revival of the Birthday Poll... - for now, check out this awesome photoshopery!

Tags: birthday

Last night I threw myself a little birthday party. It was great! I kept the invite list fairly small, because I wanted it to end up at a dinner table where everybody could (more or less) hear everyone else speak. We had 11 at the table, which meant the ends couldn't really hear one another... but at least part of my goal was achieved (especially since I sat in the middle).



We ordered a total of four pitchers of sangria and 22 different tapas. We passed plates and pitchers around, sampled everything we wanted, laughed, told stories, and generally had a good time.

On leaving the restaurant, I made everybody pose two times. Once "normal", and once "goofy". The goofy one is reproduced below. I know that they can be annoying in some ways, asking to do something stupid for the purpose of being documented.... but honestly the photos were people are being silly always end up being the ones that make me smile years later.



After dinner we went to my house for cake and ice cream. I bought candles, a tube for writing in frosting, plates, and ice cream -- but I felt silly buying my actual birthday cake, so I made M do that. He was happy to do so, and appeared on saturday with a delicious and pretty cake. Yay! He then took care of setting it up, lighting candles, distribution, and general party management. A couple others jumped in and helped with the cake distribution. M was a great host, allowing me to just bask in having so many friends visiting my house, drinking out of my coffee mug collection.



Much merriment was had, all of us squeezed into my livingroom (which can comfortably seat four, but will accommodate 13, as it turns out!). We laughed, told jokes, stories, enjoyed yummy treats of cake, ice cream, and an unexpected arrival: baklava! Such a fun time, and I'm glad so many people were able to come help me celebrate having survived another year. I love birthdays, because I love having an excuse to surround myself with people I care about and who I know care for me. It reminds me why it's all worth while.

The only downside was not being able to invite everybody. Hopefully next year I'll be living in a new house, one that can hold more people, and I have bigger gatherings! Thanks to everyone who made it.

Tags: birthday, cake, friends

The Race for the Cure is today, and I'm not going. It feels kind of weird skipping it.... My long-time readers may recall that I have been a big supporter of the race for years, and have raised funds for it every Spring. This year though, just three weeks after knee surgery, 5k doesn't seem like it'd be in my best interest. Plus life has been a little crazy this year. Thus I'm taking a year off, and giving my faithful friends who've helped me raise money a year off as well. Save your cash though, because next year I expect to be back, and to have some fun new money-raising techniques as well!

In the meantime watch out for your knees, get your mammograms and such as appropriate, and stay healthy!

Tags: race for the cure

M and I had a great Memorial Day weekend. It began separately -- he took friday night and saturday morning to get some solid studying in, as he has to re-take his boards in July.

Friday night I went and saw an art show! It was fun, just a little building that displays new local artists. It was for the S half of S&D, and she has some lovely paintings. I'm looking forward to June, when she gets the whole building for herself. After the art show, S&D, C, B, and I all went to dinner in Ferndale, and that was a fun time.

Saturday morning I managed to see She Who Clarifies and My Favorite Once-Barista. Despite being on the verge of heading up North, I wanted to see as many people as possible, so we began scheduling a brunch which evolved into a regular lunch. For me at least - others were still eating breakfast. Sadly, I do NOT see that set of girlfriends often enough.

Then early saturday afternoon hit, and M came over. He arrived earlier than I'd expected him, so I wasn't really packed. I quickly threw an excess amount of clothes and shoes into a backpack, then we attached my bike to the rear of his car, and we were off!

A pretty easy drive up to R&S's cabin, in time for dinner. We hung out for a bit, went out to dinner, then (finally!) watched In Bruges, which we'd been wanting to share with them forever. To my great relief, they liked it.

Sunday morning we slept in, bummed lazily and luxuriously around the cabin, then finally went out for breakfast. That was followed by a seven mile slow bicycle ride around the neighborhood. Seven miles seems to be my knee's current limit, but I know as long as I keep riding it will get better.

After the ride, we decided to go to Traverse City for lox followed by a "dinner cruise" on a tall ship. Really more of a dinner picnic, as they delivered box meals to all the passengers, and we ate perched on parts of the boat. It was neat watching the crew sail a real schooner, reminded me of Maine last year, and was a very pleasant way to spend an evening.



After the cruise, we drove home, admiring the sun set over East Grand Traverse Bay. We found another couple of friends waiting for us at the cabin, and we played Apples to Apples with them well into the night.



Monday was another incredibly relaxed and slow-moving morning, a walk by the lake, and finally a drive home. M and I went for a short bike ride by my house, had some dinner, watched a dumb movie (Taken), and regretfully ended our too-short holiday. Still, it was a good one!

Tags: friends, holidays, travel