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A Message From Marketing - cellophane
the story of an invisible girl
renniekins
renniekins
A Message From Marketing
I have found this quotation on several places on the 'net, but haven't found an attribution. It's cool anyway. Makes you think.

"Hi.
First of all, you are fat. You are ugly. You stink. Your breath stinks. You are unpopular. Your car sucks. Your house sucks. You suck. Your life sucks.

You are not witty. You are not smart. You are stupid. You are ignorant. You are inadequate. You will never make it in this world. You are unpopular. You will never amount to anything. You are nothing.

Your diet is poor. You have low self-esteem. You have cellulite. You have ugly toenails. You have blackheads. You have body hair where it shouldn't be. Your eyeballs are not white enough. Your teeth are not white enough. You are not white enough.

Secondly, you are fat. You should go on a diet. You should eat more hamburgers. Your tits are not big enough. Your tits are too small. Your tits aren't small enough or big enough. You need implants. Your dick is too small. You are inadequate. Your nose isn't right. Your ass is too big. You need cosmetic surgery. You need make-up. You should make yourself sick. You should eat more hamburgers.

Your dress sense sucks. You suck. You have no style. You're one of the crowd. You are a follower. You are a freak. You are a lable. You don't fit in. You are a lah-hoo-ser. You have no charisma. You are not sexy enough. You are not glamourous. You are not glamourous enough. You need more glamour in your life. Your life sucks. You suck. Your favorite band sucks. Your favorite brand sucks. Your clothes suck. Your shoes suck. You suck. You are retarded.

You don't have enough money. You should work harder. You don't have enough things. You need more things. You are unhappy. You need more. You are unsatisfied. You are not moving forward. You never descend further. You are not keeping up the pace. You are lagging behind. You are one step behind the rest.

You are doing it all wrong. You need to change. You need to see that change is good. You need to follow us. You need to be individual. You need to fit in. You need to think outside the square. You need to think outside the box. You need to think outside the bun. You need to eat more hamburgers. You are too fat. You are aware you are too fat. You shouldn't be fat. You need to stand out. You need to know the rules. You need to know the secrets. You should be yourself.

Thirdly, you are fat. Your legs wobble too much. Your teeth are crooked. Your face is wrong. You should change. You need change. You should know that change is good. You are not thin enough. You are too thin. You are too thin and too fat on incorrect areas. You need to eat more hamburgers.

You are lactose intolerant. You are iron deficient. Your cholesterol is too high. Your calcium level is too low. You should eat more hamburgers. Your blood pressure is too high. Your iron level is too low. You need to have liposuction. You need to loose weight. You suffer from premature ejaculation. You are far too dependant on drugs. You need to buy more drugs. You need more money to buy more drugs. You are inadequate.

You are bipolar. You have attention deficit hyperactive disorder. You have post-traumatic stress disorder. You suffer from depression. You are all kinds of messed up. You are manic. Your mental health is poor. Your well-being is inactive. You are not happy enough. You need to buy more drugs. You need things to be happy. You suffer from road rage. You suffer split-personality disorders. You suffer marriage problems. Your marital status sucks. You suck. You are ugly. You are not right. You need to buy more drugs.

You should stop smoking. You should buy more cigarettes. You should smoke cigars. Cloves are fashionable. You have no style. You should stop smoking. You will get cancer. You will die anyway. You should have fun. You shouldn't have fun. You should be more fashionable. Cloves are fashionable. You shouldn't pollute. You should smoke cigars. You should have fun. You should drink alcohol. You should. You should not. You should keep ahead. You are lagging behind. You should be individual. You shouldn't care about what you do. You are free. You should go your own way. You should follow us.

You watch too much television. You need to stay tuned. You are fat because you watch too much television. You should read fashion magazines. You have no style. You should feel inferior to fashion modles and television stars. Your ass is too fat. You should get off your fat ass. You should watch more television. You should be individual. You shouldn't be fat. You are wrong. You could look like that. Your hair is bad. Because you're worth it. You are fat. You are ugly. You procrastinate. You need help. You are doing it all wrong. You suck. You are a statistic. You are going to be a star one day. You are nothing. You should eat more hamburgers. You should drink more syrup. You should buy more cigarettes. You are too fat.

You should not be who you are. You have to change.

My name is Marketing.

Now buy my fucking product."
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Comments
mrdisco99 From: mrdisco99 Date: January 23rd, 2003 09:43 am (UTC) (Link)
Perfect!

I need to use this.

renniekins From: renniekins Date: January 23rd, 2003 09:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Glad you liked it. Amazingly true, isn't it!
joline From: joline Date: January 23rd, 2003 02:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
my goodness!
how true.
read 3 comments | talk to me!