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Sleep and Alarm Clocks - cellophane
the story of an invisible girl
renniekins
renniekins
Sleep and Alarm Clocks
Today I am feeling much closer to human. Not well, but distinctly better. I think it has to do with the fact that I finally got a decent night's sleep last night. I slept 10 hours! Ten! I used a magical combination of Nyquil and a sleeping pill, and I only remember waking once during the night. Unfortunately I did not fall asleep until midnight, and it does not take much of a mathematician to calculate that I didn't wake up until 10am this morning.

Here's an interesting piece of somewhat-related trivia: I'm supposed to start work at 9am.

I have alarm clock issues. I am not sure what happened this morning, if my alarm did not go off, or if I was just in too deep of a illness-and-drug-induced slumber to notice it. Still, I definitely have alarm clock issues.

I am a terrible sleeper most of the time. I have a hard time getting to sleep, then I sleep very lightly. This tends to hold true all night, until approximately one hour before my alarm is set to go off. Then I drop into a deep and delicious sleep, which is always rudely interrupted by my alarm -- inducing much grumpiness and suffering.

My alarm clock issues began a few weeks ago. Because of what I just described in the above paragraph, the whole scenario is rather hazy in my mind. I was mostly-still-asleep at the time, so I cannot truthfully say how much of the following story is true, and how much of it was a dream-fabrication.

That said, here is what I remember happening. My alarm clock went off. As is standard for me, as soon as I heard it I rolled over and slapped the snooze button. (We loves our snooze button, oh yes we do.) The alarm did not stop beeping. Figuring I must have missed, I slapped the button again, a little more accurately. It still didn't stop beeping. I began repeatedly slapping and then pounding on the alarm clock, trying to get it to be quiet. The alarm was piercing my ears, driving me crazy, and I was beating the clock with my fist. The damn thing kept beeping at me!

Finally I roused myself enough to pick up the clock and physically turn the alarm off. One would figure that at this point I would have just gotten up, but one would be wrong. Instead I set "alarm 2" (the clock had 2 alarm times which could be set individually) for about 20 minutes in the future, put the clock back down, and went relievedly back to sleep.

Needless to say, I did not wake up 20 minutes later. The alarm never went off again, and I eventually woke up on my own. Late for work. I made a mental note to test my alarm before using it again, then I rushed off to work.

That night when I came home, I noticed that the alarm did not show the correct time. I figured in my half-asleep mishandling I must have reset the time not the alarm. I corrected the time and went about my evening.

When I returned to my bedroom to go to sleep later that night, I saw that the clock once again showed the wrong time. I decided it was no longer trustworthy, and I started using a different (lesser) alarm clock that I'd had as a backup.

I kept the defective clock for awhile, and the time it showed gradually grew worse. At first it was just wildly inaccurate, but then it started showing non-numbers. I mean, how often is it really 13:5d o'clock? Meanwhile, the lesser alarm clock was doing a poor job of waking me up, because it just plays music instead of making an annoying noise. It is way too easy for a determined subconscious to just blend music into its dream tapestry. And my subconscious is always very determined to stay asleep when it is time to wake up.

So sometime last week I finally went to the store to buy a new alarm clock. I didn't find one I liked, so I just bought a cheap $7 one to take care of me until I found one I preferred. (I really like the kind with two settings, but couldn't find one.)

Up until this morning, it's worked great -- in fact I've been quite pleased with it. Honestly, it might have even worked this morning...it's hard to say, given the circumstances. I guess I'll just have to play with it tonight and see if it functions or not.

And I'll be sure to set my lesser alarm clock too. Just in case.
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Comments
lahabiel From: lahabiel Date: August 11th, 2004 11:44 am (UTC) (Link)
Ah, now I see what you mean by "saga."

***hums Ride of the Valkyries***

oooh... ;)
radiantsoul From: radiantsoul Date: August 11th, 2004 12:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
I have an alarm clock the projects the time. As an added bonus it keeps abrokenstarr awake.
jenx From: jenx Date: August 11th, 2004 12:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
C and I were given a HUGE alarm clock by my MIL for NYE festivities. It's face is probably 12 inches across. There's a notation in tiny letters at the bottom of the face: THIS ALARM WILL WAKE YOU UP.

And it does.
polaron From: polaron Date: August 12th, 2004 02:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
The Spongebob Squarepants Fog Horn Alarm Clock ?
atdt1991 From: atdt1991 Date: August 11th, 2004 12:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
:) I bought an alarm at meijer's that has 2 alarms, a "weekend" setting, and a CD player as well as buzzer. :)
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 12th, 2004 06:39 am (UTC) (Link)
ooh, that sounds pretty nice. Meijer, huh? I foolishly went to KMart, since it was on my way home, and they had an uninspiring array of crap.
atdt1991 From: atdt1991 Date: August 12th, 2004 08:44 am (UTC) (Link)
*nods* bought it about a month ago, I think, so they should still be in stock. It also has a "gradual wake" function, which I completely ignore.
polaron From: polaron Date: August 12th, 2004 02:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
KMart + uninspiring array of crap = S-Mart from Army of Darkness ?

;)

(That's another good line too, BTW..."uninspiring array of crap" :))
pi3832 From: pi3832 Date: August 11th, 2004 01:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
You know those 300-watt halogen floor lamps that everyone owns at least one of? You know, these.

Get one of those, and put it in your bedroom. Plug it into a lamp timer, set to go off around when you want to get up.

Trust me, it's very hard to ignore.
pi3832 From: pi3832 Date: August 11th, 2004 01:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
On another note, this bit you wrote: I have a hard time getting to sleep, then I sleep very lightly. This tends to hold true all night, until approximately one hour before my alarm is set to go off. Then I drop into a deep and delicious sleep, which is always rudely interrupted by my alarm -- inducing much grumpiness and suffering.

Is so "my life" it's scary. Though, I'm not so much a light sleeper as I just wake up a lot for no reason, then can't get back to sleep.

But, yes, I never sleep better than in that hour right before my alarm goes off and ruins everything.

One time I tried to snooze my alarm, but couldn't. So I tried to turn it off, but it kept making noise. So, I jerked the power cord out and it was still making noise. I finally realized I was only dreaming about turning it off. It was persistently making noise in reality.

I hate it when that happens.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 13th, 2004 06:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've had times like that too. I've also had times when I've been attacking my alarm clock in real life, only to gradually realize that it was the telephone making noise.
kevinnickerson From: kevinnickerson Date: August 11th, 2004 02:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
The problem is that alarm clocks are unnatural. You need something better.

Granted, the cheaper models are amazingly ugly. This is a downward trend. The one I bought mumble years ago was merely ugly as opposed to the newer amazingly ugly ones.
eviljohn From: eviljohn Date: August 11th, 2004 03:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Unless it has a 500-watt halogen bulb attachment I'd sleep right through it.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 12th, 2004 06:40 am (UTC) (Link)
I don't know about using just light...I'm afraid I would just roll over or cover my eyes or something. That doesn't happen to you?
kevinnickerson From: kevinnickerson Date: August 12th, 2004 06:59 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, it has a buzzer too. The idea is that you come gently awake to dawn instead of having a nasty buzz yank you from a sound sleep.
eviljohn From: eviljohn Date: August 11th, 2004 03:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's possible that you're somewhat like me. I hit my deepest sleep between 4-7am. The morning comes and I'm still quite groggy and wanting more sleep.

You know what I did? Stopped feeling guilty for not being a morning person. I take jobs that let me come in late. I know, I know, not everyone has that luxury (and I may not, depending on what my nex contract ends up being), but I'm much happier working 10-6, or even 11-7, so that's what I do.
nishar From: nishar Date: August 11th, 2004 03:23 pm (UTC) (Link)

Alarm-Cat

You could get an Alarm-Cat. Just get a kitten and feed it immediatly when you get up. After a few months your Alarm-Cat will whine and yell, awakening you even in the event of a power outage exactly when you want to get up. It works every time. :)
polaron From: polaron Date: August 11th, 2004 05:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
This ?

"how often is it really 13:5d o'clock?"

Was AWESOME.

But ?

You had me at...

"The alarm was piercing my ears, driving me crazy, and I was beating the clock with my fist. The damn thing kept beeping at me!"

Funny. Funny. Stuff :))

Lemme try to breathe here *GASP* *phew* Better...
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 12th, 2004 06:41 am (UTC) (Link)
*grin* Glad you enjoyed...thanks for letting me know!
polaron From: polaron Date: August 12th, 2004 02:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
Np :) And I didn't mention this line before, but it still gets me:

"..the time it showed gradually grew worse. At first it was just wildly inaccurate, but then it started showing non-numbers..."

One alarm clock's descent into MADNESS...
rmeidaking From: rmeidaking Date: August 11th, 2004 07:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
The trick we use with S is to put the alarm clock on the other side of the room, so he has to get out of bed to turn it off. Then he'll need to use the bathroom, and by that time he might as well stay up.

Me, I have an internal alarm clock. I get up about 15 minutes before any alarm I actually set goes off, and I routinely sleep through S's. I have no idea how the first one works, but the second part works because I know that alarm is not for me. Meanwhile, I can often sleep through amazing amounts of noise; and on the other hand, often wake up for hours in the middle of the night (e.g. 3 - 5 am).

The only times I oversleep are when I go back to bed without a fixed wake-up time in mind.
(Deleted comment)
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 13th, 2004 10:05 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: ah sleep....

Oh dear...does this mean that I should be concerned about my alarm clocks rising up and attacking me in my sleep? Or are they going to just stick with their current, more subtle approach of not waking me up in time for work?

This is scary stuff...thanks for letting me know!!
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