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Reasons to hate your body - cellophane
the story of an invisible girl
renniekins
renniekins
Reasons to hate your body
I think my bladder is shrinking. It was miniature to begin with, so this is unfortunate. I wake up in the middle of every night with a painfully overfull bladder. It sucks, because I'll be so tired, and I'll just want to ignore it and go back to sleep. But it hurts too much to sleep, so I drag myself out of bed, down the stairs, and into the bathroom. I keep my eyes closed for as much of the trip as is wise, in the hopes that I will stay as close to sleep as possible. Sometimes it works. On the good nights, this only happens once.

This morning I woke around 7am from a violent coughing fit, just like yesterday morning and the morning before. I think perhaps my bedroom is too dry for my recovering sinuses. I got up, went into the kitchen for a few sips of orange juice, then to the bathroom. Then back upstairs, and I crawled back into bed. My alarm is set for 7:45, and I lay there, still very sleepy, wondering if I could reclaim my last 45 minutes of sleep.

I thought that I should really just get up and go into work a little early. I reminded myself that if I did fall back asleep, waking up again would be painful. Slowly these thoughts twisted into a dreamlike conversation with my parents about the validity of buying a humidifier. We debated whether it would even be effective in my large open bedroom.

When my alarm went off, I snooze-buttoned away another half hour of pseudo-sleep. It wasn't satisfying, but I just didn't feel ready to face the world.

Upon finally getting up, I weighed myself. I hoped that at least all the bladder-emptying would translate into some encouraging weight-loss, but no luck. I am still 12 pounds above my "lowest weight ever", though only 7 pounds above my pre-surgery weight. Blah, I miss that lowest-weight-ever! I hate my pants feeling uncomfortably tight.

So I did a bunch of stomach crunches before I got dressed. As soon as I lay down on the floor, a kitty came over to cuddle with me. She looked at me strangely when I started crunching, so I asked her, "Why don't you ever try to cuddle when I am in bed, not doing anything? That would be the perfect kitty time. But oh no, you want to be petted when it's time for me to get up and do things!"

As I continued with my crunches, she tried to rub her chin against mine. I kept bumping into her head as I raised my shoulders off the floor, making the exercise extra strange and challenging. She was surprisingly determined though, considering that her little head kept getting rammed.

When I finished, she immediately hopped into my chest. I petted her for a few minutes before I forced her off announcing, "I really need to go to work or something."

So here I am.
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Comments
whataboutjen From: whataboutjen Date: August 19th, 2004 09:41 am (UTC) (Link)
Maybe it's the lack of sleep with the concentration thing.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 19th, 2004 11:40 am (UTC) (Link)
hmmm....it certainly could be a factor.
hannunvaakuna From: hannunvaakuna Date: August 19th, 2004 09:58 am (UTC) (Link)
kitty - it *had* to be Mocha!
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 19th, 2004 11:35 am (UTC) (Link)
Nope, Mouse! (:
greyyguy From: greyyguy Date: August 19th, 2004 09:58 am (UTC) (Link)
I have a pretty big bedroom, but the humidifier works great for me, and I don't even close the doors to the rest of the house. I would definately get one.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 19th, 2004 11:40 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks for the input! That's good to know. I live in a bungelow, and the second floor is just one big room with an open stairwell. Sounds like it's worth a try though.
joline From: joline Date: August 19th, 2004 10:19 am (UTC) (Link)
i feel like my bladder shrunk recently, too. my sleep never, ever used to be interrupted -- but now i need to get up to go every night. it's such a drag! i even try to go to bed thirsty.

my mom suggested that maybe my spine is out of alignment-- that can cause bladder issues. do you see a chiropractor?
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 19th, 2004 11:42 am (UTC) (Link)
huh, that's interesting! I used to see a chiro, but haven't gone in, um...at least 6 months maybe more. Maybe I should give him a visit.
cjdoyle From: cjdoyle Date: August 19th, 2004 10:37 am (UTC) (Link)
If you come over for MoR this weekend, you can borrow our humdifier to see if it works in your room. Sort of a "try before you buy" arangement...
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 19th, 2004 11:37 am (UTC) (Link)
ooh, that would be nice! You have one you don't use? I'd hate to take your humidity away.

I am planning on coming friday for sure, don't know about saturday yet....
cjdoyle From: cjdoyle Date: August 19th, 2004 11:49 am (UTC) (Link)
We have one in the bedroom that's been off for a week or so now - we play a strange game of "dehumidify the basement then soak the air again upstairs" sometimes - but the weather has been at a nice balance lately where the upstairs step hasn't been necessary.

Parting with it for a week or two shouldn't present any problems at all. :)
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 19th, 2004 09:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
That is very kind! I will look forward to borrowing it tomorrow. (:
radiantsoul From: radiantsoul Date: August 19th, 2004 10:49 am (UTC) (Link)
Doing shed loads of crunches won't make your stomach flatter.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 19th, 2004 11:38 am (UTC) (Link)
This is true! However crunches are a form of exercise, and exercising more should help me lose weight.
radiantsoul From: radiantsoul Date: August 19th, 2004 12:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
I do them with a weightplate behind my head. It actually builds the muscle.
thenisaid From: thenisaid Date: August 19th, 2004 01:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was about to suggest lunges and half-squats as things that target bigger muscles, and then I rememered your knee. Never mind.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 19th, 2004 09:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
I have been doing light work like that already, for PT. Leg lifts, half-squats, stair-stepping. I've started doing those on both legs now, figuring that will help a little too. (:
thenisaid From: thenisaid Date: August 19th, 2004 10:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Cool! The last five pounds are the hardest, aren' they?

I am, right now, working on taking off the five or so that I put on at summer school. That's right, I went dancing for a week and gained weight. But I made my lunches for the week ahead of time when I got home, which really does help keep me out of trouble, and I'm counting points on Weight Watchers again. It works for me, though sometimes I feel a little deprived. I have to find more good-for-me fruits that feel luxurious, like kiwis and melons, so I don't feel I'm dying for a cookie.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 20th, 2004 06:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah. Counting and writing things down has always worked best for me, but boy it's a pain! It's hard to make myself start doing it.
jeffreyab From: jeffreyab Date: August 20th, 2004 11:20 am (UTC) (Link)
Shed loads (well a 100 a day) will make your stomach flatter and firmer, I know this from experience.

It may depend on where you start from.
jeffreyab From: jeffreyab Date: August 19th, 2004 12:24 pm (UTC) (Link)

Fluid Intake

How much of what do you drink in a day?

I agree sometimes getting up early is better than trying to get 45 minutes more sleep.

This morning I was up at 4:45 and was able to function for three whole hours!

Before I had to have a six hour nap.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 20th, 2004 08:16 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Fluid Intake

I don't drink much -- I try to drink a fair amount of water when I'm at work, because I know water is good for you. But after work I usually have a single beverage with dinner, and that's it.

I drink less than most people i know -- like when we go out to dinner, I'm always the one who needs the least refills.
jeffreyab From: jeffreyab Date: August 20th, 2004 10:17 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Fluid Intake

Well it does not seem to be fluid intake which is why I have to usually get up in the middle of the night to go.

Is it just a night thing?

If not bring it up with your doctor at your next check up.
dreadpiratesiri From: dreadpiratesiri Date: August 19th, 2004 04:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
weird! that bladder thing's been happening to me lately. then i noticed i was drinking a lot more. then my mom came out to visit and noticed all these energy level variations and drinking things and thinks i have hypoglycemia or diabetes. i doubt i've got diabetes, but hypoglycemia is just out of whack blood sugar and can lead to things like excessive thirst, more frequent urination, fatigue, dry skin, more infections than usual, etc.

i'm very obviously not a doctor, but it might be something worth mentioning to your doctor. or my mom's just worried about the world, and it's contagious. either way, hope you feel better soon.

renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 20th, 2004 08:17 am (UTC) (Link)
*grin* It's so easy to let people's paranoia rub off on you! Thanks, I hope you feel better also.
thenisaid From: thenisaid Date: August 19th, 2004 10:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've had bladder oddities myself, but mostly related to the hysterectomy. My "fullness sensor" isn't quite as accurate as it used to be. I think I used to be able to tell within 10% or so how full my bladder was. Now sometimes it's, "Don't have to go, don't have to go, don't have to---WAIT! GOTTA GO NOW!"

And sometimes when I heed that "RUN TO THE BATHROOM! HURRY! HURRY!" alarm I get "pssssssst!" I look down and think, "What, that's IT? I interrupted LUNCH for this!"

There is stuff they can do about overactive or miniaturized bladders, I think, (maybe Detrol and/or maybe distention) but we have now reached the end of my bladder understanding. I certainly don't know how they decide who needs it and what the tradeoffs are. If you wait a decade, I'll be able to tell you! ;)
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 20th, 2004 08:17 am (UTC) (Link)
Sure, I've got nothing but time! Drop me a note in 10 years. *big grin*
polaron From: polaron Date: August 24th, 2004 07:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
My cat is currently sitting on my desk in front of my keyboard. She likes to help me type by getting a hug from me (and currently, by rasping my arm).

(My arm is going numb ::lol:: ::cries::)
renniekins From: renniekins Date: August 24th, 2004 08:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
aww....sounds like a typical kitty-troublemaker! *smile*
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