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V-Day Approacheth - cellophane
the story of an invisible girl
renniekins
renniekins
V-Day Approacheth
I don't really like Valentine's Day. I don't think I ever really have. Hard to say why, maybe just because it's always almost been some kind of popularity contest. More than any other holiday, it is specifically meant to identify who loves you, or how many people love you. Even as a kid in elementary school. Remember Charlie Brown, in the February comics, was always checking his mailbox, looking for Valentine's Day cards, and never finding any? Then he'd slump, sad and friendless, against the mailbox post. Maybe I have always identified with that.

Last year, the day after V-Day, I emailed a "rant" to a friend of mine, detailing all the sucky things about the holiday. Here it is, so I don't have to rewrite it....

2001-2-15 : Personally, I hate the holiday. I don't celebrate it, don't like it. I call it V-Day, because it sounds like D-Day, which has all kinds of appropriately bad connotations. *grin* Last night I got together with my girlfriends and had our traditional anti-v-day-no-boys-allowed party. Except my male cat was allowed, because he's not "really" a boy anymore.. (:

I don't like the commercialism and the media. The whole stupid holiday is about men feeling obligated to do stuff for women, which is very one-sided anyway. From a female perspective, it makes me angry that I am made to feel inadequate if I *don't* have somebody madly in love with me, if I *don't* have "somebody special". I hate those "show her you care" lines in the billions of commercials, which just drills into your head that somebody is supposed to care about you, and that furthermore if you don't receive a bunch of flowers or chocolates that nobody does. Why should I base my self esteem on cards, hearts, or roses?

There are those who argue that I feel this way because I never get anything. Not true!! Fact is, 3 different people were moved to send me stuff this year, despite the fact that I tried to duck out of the whole entire holiday. (Or maybe because of that fact?) Sheesh. I mean, it's wonderfully kind and sweet of them to think of me, and thoughtful, but why must they on this stupid hallmark day? Why not do it when it means more, like I'm sad, or I've done something really great, or just because they thought of me one day and smiled a little more than they might have otherwise and wanted me to know!???

Excuse the ranting. I seem to have grown bitter in my old age.... (: This has come on gradually, but I have never liked the day. Even when I *was* with somebody who loved me very much, V-days were just never that great - it was like the World made it into such a big deal that nobody could ever live up to it, and I gradually realized that the best thing to do would be to ignore the day, and concentrate on making each other feel special the other 364.25 days a year.

Okay, I'm really done ranting this time. *laugh* And I agree with what you said, the male perspective, that it oughta go both ways. V-Day definitely seems to be all about girls, but there oughta be a boys day too, other than fathers day which doesn't count because not all boys are fathers. Or better yet, people could just show each other they care all the time, and not worry about calendars. (Easier said than done, of course: people get busy, they forget, they want to make you feel special but then life intervenes, as my friend B pointed out to me when I was ranting at him yesterday. This was his argument for v-day not being such a bad thing. A tool to help you remember to do the stuff you want to do but sometimes forget.) I'm not convinced, but I see his point.)


Quite the rant, eh? So back to the present....how about this year, what am I doing? Well, believe it or not, I'm going out with a boy. I thought about it, and I realized that I hardly ever spend time with the two girls I got together with last year. We email and talk occasionally, but almost never manage to actually go out. I don't honestly feel like they care about me very much these days. I mean, they still like me, we have fun when we do get together, but....we've drifted apart, I guess, are busy with our own lives, and they just don't show a whole lot of interest in spending time with me any longer.

I was thinking about this, thinking about the people who do act as though they care about me, who do spend time with me, and I realized that the main one these days is a boy. So why would I ditch him on V-Day in order to spend time with girls who don't care about me as much? That would be silly.

I've told him about how much I hate V-Day, how depressing I generally find it, and he wants to try to help change that. Or at least make this year a nice one. I'm willing to let him try, and honestly I enjoy spending time with him any day, so why not the 14th? I'm sure we'll have a nice evening, one way or another, whatever we end up doing.

hmm, maybe I'm growing a tiny bit less bitter. Although whenever I see store displays full of red hearts (which are everywhere right now!), I still get pissed off. So maybe not. Hard to say.
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Comments
encorecrazay From: encorecrazay Date: February 9th, 2002 03:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think he wants to show how much he appreciates all that you've done for him and that he might actually "love" you. But again that doesn't have to happen on that overly commerialized day, have fun making your decision.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: February 9th, 2002 05:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, I've already made a decision: I'm going out with him on V-Day. Especially since I "love" him too. Guess I wasn't clear enough in my post...it was mostly just musing about what I'm doing and why.
radiantsoul From: radiantsoul Date: February 10th, 2002 04:06 am (UTC) (Link)
You haven't even asked for my address, the card has no chance of getting her by Valentine's Day now!

Personally I think it is quite a nice idea the whole valentine's day thing, although it is a little bit overcommercialised in the UK and probably ten times worse in the US. You could argue Christmas, Easter and thanksgiving are also commercialised to the point of boredom.

Anyway their is NO reason why it can't be boys to. I presume you are going to get C, and perhaps other(?), something nice as well. Or just write a letter which is nicer than email.
cannibal From: cannibal Date: February 10th, 2002 07:33 am (UTC) (Link)
Funny, girls don't seem to be as... obliged to do something for the V-day. Though they will sometimes send flowers and such. Hmm. My contention is that Superbowl Sunday is boyz-day, and that girls should send flowers then. (ahems) They have women's-day in Russia... and here in the midworstern US, they have an extra hallmark holiday called... er, um... sweetest-day, which actually was started by a greeting-card company, and is only celebrated in a restricted area, Michigan & Ohio. It really confused the heck out of me when I moved here and my girlfriend expected me to do something for it, and really was upset that I didn't. Of course, this was the same girl that sent me a St.Valentine's Day Massacre card (my favorite euphemism for the holiday, I used to always write "Happy St..." on my cards) which had an anatomically correct heart, pierced by a dagger, dripping blood.

Bitter, bitter girls. Bitterly bitter at the bitter bitterness of lack of loving suitors wearing suits and singing songs. My gosh, it's a goth thing.

Of course, I'm rather taken aback that so many girls seem to doubt that I would send them flowers, even going so far as to say that they didn't arrive, because they never expected to get them from me. Just because I'm cruel, heartless, and a vicious bastard, they *assume* that I wouldn't send them flowers. Humph. Of course, I suppose it also helps that I rarely sign cards, just bloody embarassed by the whole thing.
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