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Spider Stories - cellophane
the story of an invisible girl
renniekins
renniekins
Spider Stories
They were lying in bed reading. This was several years ago, before she'd had laser eye surgery. She wasn't wearing her glasses, so she could not see much past the end of her book. She glanced at the ceiling, and saw a dark spot moving along rapidly.

She cringed. If it was large enough that she could see it without glasses, it must be some monstrously huge bug-type-thing. It was above her. "What the hell is that?"

He glanced up. "Oh, a spider."

She is always afraid of ceiling-spiders, for fear that they will drop onto her. Some years ago, she'd had a nightmare in which there were spiders swarming all over her ceiling. The dream had been vivid enough that she'd been out of her bedroom and cowering in the hallway before she'd fully woken up. It had taken her an hour before she worked up enough courage to reenter the bedroom, peer cautiously at the ceiling, and return to bed, reassuring herself that it was just a dream.

"Is it big? It looks huge. Do something about it!"

"What would you like me to do?"

"If it's convenient, capture it and set it free in the wilderness. If not, squish it."

She put on her glasses and cringed even more. It wasn't enormous, but it was the kind with a big dark torso and thick legs instead of spindly ones. That gave it more of a Scary Spider quality. She scrambled out of the bed, well out of spider-falling-range, so he could deal with the situation.

***

Just last week, she walked into her bathroom and exclaimed startledly, "Ack! A spider!"

"Do you need some help?" A friend called from the other room.

"Yes please." Keeping her distance, she kept an eye on the critter as it walked along the wall.

He entered the bathroom and asked patiently, "Okay where is it," as he rolled his eyes slightly.

She pulled out a kleenex and handed it to him. "Right over there."

He squished it muttering, "A waste of a perfectly good piece of kleenex."

The deed done, she thanked him and justified herself, "It's not that I'm incapable of dealing with it. When I'm here by myself, I handle my own spiders. But when there happens to be a guy around...."

"It's his job?"

"I feel he should assume responsibility for them."

"I'll have to keep that in mind if I visit again."
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Comments
_goodintentions From: _goodintentions Date: March 6th, 2005 08:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
My Spider Stories:
Once I went up north with my friend Shaina, in the summer time. The room we stayed in in her cabin had spiders in it. Once when we were just sitting on the bed talking she's like OMG and I looked behind me on the wall and RIGHT by my head there was this huge spider you have no idea. I freaked. We killed it, and ughhh creepy.
Also, there was this GIGANTIC daddy long legs on this window area by the ceiling, right over where we would sleep. We were scared to kill it, but we feared sleep because we thought it would come down onto our heads. So we didn't sleep for two days.
ellison From: ellison Date: March 6th, 2005 08:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
I have always been the creepy crawler capturer-and-releaser or killer in my household. It was that way since I was a kid, and I married my husband who, completely unbeknownst to me until *well* into our relationship, is completely creeped out by spiders and can't go near them with a ten foot pole. It was only in my teenage years that I began noticing that I am a rare breed - I know only a few women who deal with spiders and bugs with no problems.
nishar From: nishar Date: March 6th, 2005 09:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
Spiders don't really bother me. Scorpions on the other hand... *shudders in horror* lol
shadowriderhope From: shadowriderhope Date: March 7th, 2005 03:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Funny, I have an almost identical story to that first one, only with my ex-girlfriend. ;) I deemed her the Person in Charge of Spiders as she was butchier than I.

Generally I try to shoo or move spiders rather than killing them (they're good critters, really, they do good things), but sometimes that's not really workable. It's strange how much I've gotten more skittish around insects[1] and such as I've gotten older - it's as if I've been programmed. ;) When I was younger I'd play with all sorts of insects and whatnot.

I think mostly it's about my-space versus their-space. Insects outside don't bother me nearly as much as insects do inside....


[1] OK, insects and arachnids. I'm just lazy, I do know the difference. ;)
cannibal From: cannibal Date: March 9th, 2005 03:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
Honestly, I think spiders up in a corner of the ceiling are a good thing, they eat any flies that get into the house, which I loathe and will go to great lengths to kill. Ever since I developed the WD-40 flamethrower approach to New Orleans cockroaches, I have used it on flies that I can't thwap easily, and also wasps. I really don't like it when wasps get into the house.

Never lived in Australia, but the red-backed spiders they have that like to bite people are a different matter. Black widows are very rare in Michigan, and don't like ceilings, you'll mostly find them hiding in woodpiles. Wear gloves when you go out to get your firewood.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: March 9th, 2005 07:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh great, another thing to be paranoid of!

I don't like bugs of any sort inside the house, I prefer that they either remain outdoors or contribute to the mortgage.

If a spider stayed in the corner of the ceiling I'd probably never notice it. But if it walks above me, or in front of me, that's a whole different story!
cannibal From: cannibal Date: March 9th, 2005 07:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
I carefully didn't tell you where red-backs like to hide for precisely that reason, that I didn't want to give you anything to be paranoid of, since they only live in Australia.

You can assume that black widows live outside, and very rarely in Michigan, but just in general, in more friendly climates, stuff that bites tends to live in woodpiles.

Ah, now I see, you have a don't ask don't tell policy re: spiders.
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