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I touch the fire and it freezes me.... You don't have to die alone… - cellophane
the story of an invisible girl
renniekins
renniekins
I touch the fire and it freezes me....

You don't have to die alone Mal!
Everybody dies alone.

You look as beautiful as a sunrise.
You should have said a sunset.

Watched La Boheme, but could barely concentrate on the beautiful music, my mind wandering and ruminating so much. My head spins in so many different directions these days. What do I want? Is this it? How can I put myself back together, so all the pieces work again? Am I constantly going to be sabotaging myself?

Watching the girl die felt trite, even with the lovely music. But when he saw her after, and slowly realized she was gone, his body language was incredible. I felt it in my gut when he literally tried to climb up his friend to some saner of a place.

Most moving part of the show, that was. Otherwise I was too distracted to really be drawn into the story.... although I really liked the duets.

The torch I bear, it's scorching me
I hope she fries; I'm free if that bitch dies
(I'd better help her out.)
'cause she is drawn to the fire

How is it that an insomniac can long to spend her weekend asleep? I fantasize about sleeping pills. I feel a tiredness that is not really physical.

What can't we face if we're together?

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Comments
dagibbs From: dagibbs Date: November 12th, 2005 05:57 am (UTC) (Link)
Mmm... Buffy.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: November 12th, 2005 05:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yep! Very good.
lahabiel From: lahabiel Date: November 12th, 2005 06:02 am (UTC) (Link)
returns the *hug*
devnul From: devnul Date: November 12th, 2005 10:03 am (UTC) (Link)
I long for more time to write something better here, but it's already 5am and I'm running late (yes, I have been known to claim this is "fun" but let's not discuss that right now). So if a picture is worth a thousand words, a touch must be pretty high up there in the count, and so the description of a touch must then be worth more than just the total of its words.

*hug*

renniekins From: renniekins Date: November 12th, 2005 05:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks hun. *hugs back*
devnul From: devnul Date: November 14th, 2005 12:58 am (UTC) (Link)
How are you, post-weekend?
renniekins From: renniekins Date: November 15th, 2005 12:35 am (UTC) (Link)
Quite a lot better, actually. Thanks for thinking of me! I'll have to post about my weekend soon.

Hope your weekend of hiking was awesome. (:
devnul From: devnul Date: November 15th, 2005 12:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Good to hear - I'm looking forward to reading about it!

And thanks for asking, mine was awesome, though I've been wicked sore all day. I hope to at least get the pictures online tonight, and write about it tomorrow.

It's almost time to trade the Jack o' Lantern avatar for a turkey!
renniekins From: renniekins Date: November 16th, 2005 12:48 am (UTC) (Link)
Very true...fortunately I have one ready!
devnul From: devnul Date: November 16th, 2005 01:30 am (UTC) (Link)
Woo-hoo! Basted and roasted, oh my!

Don't forget the can of cranberry sauce. The kind that holds its shape; that I've loved since I was 6 and ever will!

shadowriderhope From: shadowriderhope Date: November 12th, 2005 04:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, *envy*. You saw La Boheme? I really wanted to, but didn't want to do it alone. :-(
renniekins From: renniekins Date: November 12th, 2005 05:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Aw, darn! My sis and I planned on going forever ago. We were both hoping to ask around and gather more people to join us, but we just got ultra-busy, and didn't manage to do so. Sadness!
thelifeofbrian From: thelifeofbrian Date: November 14th, 2005 03:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
So, I take it you liked it. The reviews for it weren't very promising, but personal testimonials carry much more weight with me. Though I already had tickets for Cats, so I couldn't have joined you. Glad you liked it, though.
marsgov From: marsgov Date: November 15th, 2005 10:38 am (UTC) (Link)
I am utterly confused by this post (and late reading it). Are you ok?
renniekins From: renniekins Date: November 15th, 2005 05:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was having a turmoiled evening, but I'm doing much better now....thanks.
thatguychuck From: thatguychuck Date: November 16th, 2005 10:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
My head spins in so many different directions these days. What do I want? Is this it? How can I put myself back together, so all the pieces work again? Am I constantly going to be sabotaging myself?

You're not alone in this. I worry about sabotaging myself sometimes, because I've done it a lot in the past. I try now to just deal with what's happening now. I don't know what might or might not happen tomorrow, so I can't let myself react to it. Sure, I can make plans, but I've been known to react to things or situations that haven't happened and very well may never. I'm trying to watch for it.

I hope things settle a bit for you soon, if they haven't already.
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