?

Log in

current entries friends' entries archives about me Previous Previous Next Next
Jolted Dream - cellophane
the story of an invisible girl
renniekins
renniekins
Jolted Dream
I was running. And I found myself wondering why, because I hate running. It was especially peculiar since I was running without shoes on, and without a bra. I don't think I was being chased, and I don't think I was in a hurry to get somewhere, but I ran determinedly. That same part of me that was wondering why felt a bit glad to be running, because it's allegedly healthy -- but a bit surprised in my choice of clothing. A bit worried that I wouldn't be able to last long in bare feet. Not to mention the discomfort of being bra-less.

I think I was on the side of a road, running through dew-covered grass and weeds. It was early morning and foggy. I felt the moisture on my feet, but I wasn't cold. I padded on through the lonely mist, the only person anywhere.

Something distracted me, and I looked to the left, or maybe over my shoulder. Or perhaps I dodged to the side to avoid something, but wasn't watching my feet.

My right foot missed the ground. I'm not sure why: perhaps it was a curb, or a deep animal hole, or perhaps the dewy ground had simply vanished. All I remember is that sudden blind panic, the feeling of throwing your whole weight onto something you thought was solid, and feeling nothing but emptiness instead.

My whole body reacted, every muscle flailed out to catch myself, re-find my balance -- I jerked so violently that I woke up.

My veins were coursing with adrenaline from that sudden panic. I rolled over onto my back and breathed deeply, trying to catch my breath. My companion mumbled, "Are you okay?"

"Yes, just a..."

...what was that anyway? It wasn't really a nightmare or even a bad dream. It was just a single moment of terror that had started me out of sleep. "Just something jolted me awake. I don't even remember what. An adrenaline rush, that's all. I'm okay."

He said something reassuring then went back to sleep. I eventually did the same. It was true: I didn't remember the dream. I only remembered that moment of feeling my foot landing on nothing, that sudden groundlessness and instability. When I woke up, I didn't remember any of it. Only now, 12 hours later, it came back to me -- the strange running, barefoot on an empty road.

So I wrote it down. Is this what people mean, when they talk about dreaming of falling? I always thought it was more like tumbling off buildings or out of windows or something.

Tags: ,

read 27 comments | talk to me!
Comments
cpip From: cpip Date: April 28th, 2006 06:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's what I get. I'll have a sudden awakening of adrenaline because I felt myself falling.
pi3832 From: pi3832 Date: April 28th, 2006 06:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Not me. I fall. I hit. I think, "Why aren't I dead?" Dream continues.
hannunvaakuna From: hannunvaakuna Date: April 28th, 2006 06:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
that happens to me sometimes. i *never* remember what was going on in the mental landscape of my mind, but i'll jerk so hard/fast that i've come fully awake. i've had it happen a LOT when i'm in that in between sleep/wake state, too.
aiela From: aiela Date: April 28th, 2006 07:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
We learned about that jerking in the sleep wake stage in psychology. It's an M word, but I can't remember what it is. Basically, you're falling asleep and your body gets concerned that you're dying, so there's a jolt of adreneline to get you going again, and it wakes you up.

Mycelonic jerk? Something along those lines.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: April 28th, 2006 08:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
Huh, interesting....but strange! Given how many times my body has fallen asleep already in my life, it should be used to it by now and not think I'm dying.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: April 28th, 2006 08:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah come to think of it, I get that frequently when I'm falling asleep too, random body jerking.

This one was more peculiar for me because it was part of an eerie dream. Also I reacted more to it. I was very out of breath, and my heart was racing.
infernus1218 From: infernus1218 Date: April 28th, 2006 06:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
is it really that uncomfortable running without a bra?
jennlk From: jennlk Date: April 28th, 2006 07:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
It can be. It depends on how big the breasts are and how 'broken-down' (for lack of a better word) they are. Way back when I was a scrawny 34A, I ran 5Ks braless. Now, two breastfed kids and 40 pounds later, it's not something I'd even contemplate.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: April 28th, 2006 08:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, I find it so. Partly because I'm not used to it I suppose, but it's really just not that comfortable to feel my flesh bouncing up and down with every step.

Have you ever tried naked jumping jacks? I'm told men find those equally uncomfortable.
devnul From: devnul Date: April 29th, 2006 01:49 am (UTC) (Link)
Hee-hee. That was part of meeting my first girlfriend, so many aeons ago...
renniekins From: renniekins Date: April 30th, 2006 05:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
Naked jumping jacks?! You really MUST explain!
devnul From: devnul Date: May 2nd, 2006 01:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, nothing too interesting, just the two of us having a private truth-or-dare session very late at night (early in the morning). Really a more interesting trivia drop than an actual story!
geekjul From: geekjul Date: April 28th, 2006 06:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's called a hypnagogic jerk, and it happens to most everyone. Sometimes with an associated dream, sometimes without. Does the dream cause the jerk or the imminent jerk cause the dream? That's the question.

(And that marks the first use of my psych degree in at least six months...)
aiela From: aiela Date: April 28th, 2006 07:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ah, see, you remembered! I commented above that I knew it started with an M. Except, well, it starts with an H.

:P
geekjul From: geekjul Date: April 28th, 2006 07:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Actually you weren't entirely wrong. Myclonic jerk is the term for the all-body-muscle twitch. When it happens in your sleep
geekjul From: geekjul Date: April 28th, 2006 07:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
(Duh, 'puters are hard)

When it happens in your sleep it's called a hypnagogic jerk, but it's basically the same thing.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: April 28th, 2006 08:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Huh, neat stuff. Thanks for the info, now I have something to go look up next time I have trouble sleeping. And I'm pleased I was able to help you use your degree! *smile*

I've definitely had that feeling many times before, but I don't remember it being so vivid, nor feeling in such a physically frightened state afterward. Bodies and brains can be so weird sometimes....
devnul From: devnul Date: April 28th, 2006 07:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
So does a dream of running braless count as your HNT contribution?
renniekins From: renniekins Date: April 28th, 2006 08:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
Umm...sure! I was going to use my Anya costume as a HNT post, but thursdays keep sneaking by without my noticing them.
stephe From: stephe Date: April 28th, 2006 08:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's the bunnies. They're after you now. Sneaky little critters, with their twitchy noses.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: April 28th, 2006 08:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ahhhh..... yes, this makes sense.
thatguychuck From: thatguychuck Date: April 28th, 2006 09:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
Falling like that sounds terrifying, and I can understand how it can jolt you awake. I've had similar things happen while sleeping and they've woken me up.

It was early morning and foggy. I felt the moisture on my feet, but I wasn't cold.

Oh yea. It was totally a dream then. < grin >
anderale From: anderale Date: April 29th, 2006 12:43 am (UTC) (Link)
When I fall in my dreams it's usually off of something high (building, cliff) or out of an airplane. Gads, it's scary. I've learned to somehow change things mid fall and put myself back on the ground safely...sometimes. Have you never fallen in a dream like that before?
renniekins From: renniekins Date: April 30th, 2006 05:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
I don't remember dreaming of falling off high places. I'd had dreams like I described before, though this one seemed more vivid - at least my reaction to it. Then I found myself thinking: I have had these before, and I wonder if other people do. Then I remembered reading that "dreaming of falling" is a very commen dream, so it occurred to me that maybe THIS is what they're talking about, not falling off buildings or something like I'd always assumed.
ellison From: ellison Date: April 29th, 2006 10:41 am (UTC) (Link)
That happens to me semi frequently. I guess it does to everyone? I usually don't remember the dream that goes with it. There have been occasions where I've been dreaming deeply and dream I fall off something, and jerk myself awake, though. But yeah, usually in the first-falling-asleep state is when I've experienced that. It's such a weird experience; I hate when that happens.
egon010 From: egon010 Date: April 29th, 2006 04:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
grrry From: grrry Date: May 5th, 2006 02:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
Personally, I get all manner of extraordinarily vivid dreams including the common falling dream. Usually though because I know I'm dreaming (a habit I picked up somehow when younger to prevent nightmares)the falling becomes a feeling of flight, a kind of telekenetic thing without quite as much control as I'd like. Many of my most vivid dreams repeat at least once or twice.

For amusement value I also point out that I dream in color, but there seems to be some obscure control thing involved because if I become aware I'm dreaming in color I can tune it to black and white then back again. Sometimes the colors go wild and it's like playing with the hues and so on.

The fun part though comes when it's a particularly sensual sexual dream and I'm aware of it. Then I struggle internally with whether to wake myself to nuzzle Annette or to just enjoy the fantasy.

But I never have nightmares any more. The ones up to when I somehow learned to control the dreams were particularly bad, very severe, and extremely disturbing. Never happens any more.
read 27 comments | talk to me!