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Questions - cellophane
the story of an invisible girl
renniekins
renniekins
Questions
I almost forgot: Ellalthea asked me some questions the other day! It was kind of a meme thing, but I don't do memes.... However I do have a policy of answering questions asked of me, so I'm answering them now.

1.) What would your stripper name be, if you were a stripper?

It would be Rennie. Maybe Rennielicious? Hmm, that might be sexier.

2.) What would your superhero power be?

The ability to freeze time and turn it back 5 seconds. Really being able to turn it back however many seconds I want would be better, but I don't want to seem greedy.

3.) What do you miss the most from the 80's?

That's a good question. I don't really miss much, although I like reminiscing about the 80's. I was going to say music, but I can listen to that now. Um. Having my mom pay for my sports, yeah, that's a good one. No wait, I know -- home-cooked meals!

4.) Do you think your life would be drastically different if you were a male?

I will let Uncle Bonsai answer that:

If I had a penis I'd wear it outside
In cafes and carlots with pomp and with pride
If I had a penis I'd pamper it proper
I'd stay in the tub and use me as a stopper
If I had a penis I'd take it to parties
Stretch it and stroke it and shove it at smarties
I'd take it to pet shows and teach it to stay
I'd stuff it in turkeys on thanksgiving day

I'd rival my buddies in sportscars and stickshifts
I'd shower my spire with girlies and gifts
I'd peek around corners
I'd aim at my toilet
I'd poke it at foreigners
And soap it and oil it
If I had a penis I'd run to my mother
Comb out the hair and compare it to brother
I'd lance her, I'd knight her, my hands would endulge
Pants would seem tighter and buckle and bulge

(chorus)
A penis to plunder, a penis to push
Cause one in the hand is worth one in the bush
A penis to love me, a penis to share...
To pick up and play with when nobody's there

I'd sit like a guy, I'd straddle the chair
I'd play with my fly, albeit with care
I'd dip it in chocolate, I'd stick it in sockets
Go to the movies with hands deep in pockets
I'd stick it in vacuums on vacant verandas
Gas-guzzling bottles and poodles and pandas
And puddles and drain pipes and doggies and ditches,
Poolhalls and potholes and bottles and bitches...

Zucchinies and zebras, tomatoes, tomatoes,
And pineapple pumpkins, and gulches and grottos,
And melons and marshmallows...

Gloves and gorillas
Slurpies and slippers
Chinooks and chinchillas...

(chorus)

If I had a penis, I'd climb every mountain
I'd force it on females
I'd pee like a fountain...

If I had a penis I'd still be a girl,
But I'd make much more money and conquer the world.

5.) Do you consider yourself a feminist?

Not precisely a feminist, more of a humanist. Making it All About Women basically misses the whole point. I think women and men should be treated and respected equally. On the other hand, I do flinch when I hear people using male-centered language, like talking about "the computer guys" or something. Girls do this stuff too! I also don't like anybody to assume something about somebody based on his/her gender. Male or female, on either side of the equation. It grates on me, because I want us to judge one another as individuals instead of stereotypes.
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Comments
pi3832 From: pi3832 Date: September 21st, 2007 09:41 am (UTC) (Link)
It would be Rennie. Maybe Rennielicious? Hmm, that might be sexier.

Not nearly cheesy enough. I think you'd be more of a "Suzie Q".

The ability to freeze time and turn it back 5 seconds. Really being able to turn it back however many seconds I want would be better, but I don't want to seem greedy.

Social anxiety is no fun. Accept yourself, forgive yourself, and, as my Uncle John used to say, "If they can't take a joke--fuck 'em."

That's a good question. I don't really miss much, although I like reminiscing about the 80's. I was going to say music, but I can listen to that now. Um. Having my mom pay for my sports, yeah, that's a good one. No wait, I know -- home-cooked meals!

Why is it that no one ever says, "High school?" Oh, wait, that's right-- because "we were savages and our world was stupid."
From: writerwench Date: September 21st, 2007 01:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
I LOVE that penis poem! Absolutely love it!

yeh... I was scanning photos from the 80's for hours last night. Can't say it was a particularly wonderful decade for me, apart from having two children... I can't remember much apart from being permanently exhausted, permanently poor, permanently left alone while husband went off down to the pub, spending as much on beer every week as he gave me for food and bills.
I think on the whole the present time is much, much nicer.
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