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Spider Beside Her - cellophane
the story of an invisible girl
renniekins
renniekins
Spider Beside Her
I was lying in bed reading, when I saw a spider making its way across the ceiling directly above me. "Oh crap," I thought. Warm and comfortable, I didn't want to get up. Besides, getting close enough to kill spiders ooks me.

Could I just ignore it? I made it through about three words of a sentence before accepting that something had to be done. Had I a bed-parter, I would have delegated the task. But I was alone.

'Okay', I groaned, throwing back the covers, 'you can't stay.'

I found a magazine and folded it up. 'Sorry about this guy...' and I swatted him.

The worst possible outcome. He fell off the ceiling and landed on my bed. Still moving. He was alive and in my bed! Ack!

I threw the covers away from him, not sure what to do. I couldn't squish him IN my sheets, leaving spider gook on my bed. I couldn't let him stay there; that's not my preferred type of bed-parter.

I had a vague notion of getting him to walk onto the magazine, but did't want him near me. I ended up sweeping him off the bed onto the floor.

Where I promptly lost sight of him. Another poor outcome. I ran to turn on the overhead lights and look around, but he had vanished without a trace.

So now I'm huddled under my covers looking around. Somewhere is a spider lurking, a spider who touched my warm bed, a spider with a reason to hold a grudge.

I shall sleep well tonight.
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Comments
delosd From: delosd Date: December 29th, 2007 05:20 am (UTC) (Link)
He's mean, he's pissed, and he's ARMED!

:)
devnul From: devnul Date: December 29th, 2007 04:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
He's not just armed ... he's legged!
pi3832 From: pi3832 Date: December 29th, 2007 02:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
My brother and sister-in-law hadn't furnished the guest bedroom yet, so I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Seeing as how they're cheap, the AC was turned off at night, and we all just opened our bedroom windows.

A breeze blew into the room, kicking out the sheer curtains, which tickled my foot. I kicked them gently away.

And then the curtains tickled up my back, which was four or five feet from the window.

By the time I had gotten the light turned on, the very startled, and extremely hairy, 4-inch-wingspan spider was attempting to hide in the corner between the bed and the wall, and not doing a good job of it.

I flushed it back toward the window, and once out in the open I whacked the hell out of it. I'm not usually much of one for squishing bugs, but I had Hulk-like adrenaline coursing through my veins.

I told my sister-in-law the tale the next morning. She promised to have the house drenched in pesticide, as long as I didn't tell my brother--who might have been moved to sell the house.

Sheesh. What would I do if I was ever confronted with actual danger?
renniekins From: renniekins Date: December 29th, 2007 03:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
ohmigod, four inches?!
pi3832 From: pi3832 Date: December 29th, 2007 06:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's possible that my inordinate horror may have effected memory formation. But the fucker was BIG.
encorecrazay From: encorecrazay Date: December 29th, 2007 02:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Instead of typing on your laptop in bed with the covers over your head, you should have closed your eyes and gone to sleep.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: December 29th, 2007 03:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well the covers weren't over my head, because otherwise how could I watch for spiders? and it was my cell phone, because that was nearby.

actually I slept not too long afterward.

Edited at 2007-12-29 04:00 pm (UTC)
encorecrazay From: encorecrazay Date: December 29th, 2007 04:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Have you gone looking for spiders today? And how's the home office?
jeffreyab From: jeffreyab Date: December 29th, 2007 10:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
I would have just let the spider cross the ceiling and nail them next time you see them.

Although this episode does point out the usefullness of having a significant other.(;
(no subject) - davehogg - Expand
lala2 From: lala2 Date: January 1st, 2008 09:24 am (UTC) (Link)
He won't hold a grudge for long...and he's small. :) He won't eat much and maybe he'll pay rent.

PLUS just think of all the house work he could do with those 8 legs!
thatguychuck From: thatguychuck Date: January 2nd, 2008 03:20 am (UTC) (Link)
Three or four nights ago I woke in the middle of the night to stumble off to the 'loo. After my eyes adjusted a bit to the light I saw a spider.

On my toothbrush. On the bristles.

No, that spider did not have a chance to live.
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