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Sleep Betrayal - cellophane
the story of an invisible girl
renniekins
renniekins
Sleep Betrayal
I consider some nightmares to be a sort of brain betrayal. This is particularly the case if there is nothing especially wrong in my life. The real betrayal is when my subconscious takes a warm and safe place, my bed, and makes me feel unsafe there.

I have had (though thankfully not often) nightmares which sent me leaping out of bed, or starting away from my pillow or covers. They are usually realistic ones which feature me sleeping, then something scary happening to me in or around my bed.

For example, I had one friday night. I'm not sure it was really a nightmare exactly, since I picture those as long-running and scarier, but it was a icky dream. I was sleeping on my futon, both in the dream and in real life, because my parents were guesting in my regular bed. Somebody (I don't know who, but I remember a hand) placed a couple of large creepy bugs right on my pillow. I jerked away, sat bolt upright in bed, looked for the bugs. I looked for the person.

Nobody was there, and nothing was amiss. There were no bugs, and it only took me a few moments to realize it had been a dream. It was only 4am, but at that point I was sitting up, adrenaline flowing. Also, there had been bugs on my pillow. Even though they weren't real, I couldn't just lie back down there and go to sleep.

I got up, had some cereal, did some reading, and eventually fell asleep again. But my occasional weird dreams like this always give me pause. Why would my brain betray me like that? It's one thing for my subconscious to exhibit its stress or concerns in some external environment, but why would it make my own bed, my warm and comfortable cocoon filled with pillows and teddy bears, a scary place to be? (Even my futon I had filled with my usual bedding and stuff, and I've had dreams like this take place in my regular bed as well.)

It annoys me. It's not a terrible thing, as dreams go, and it's not frequent... but I don't approve nevertheless. My brain should know better than to make my sleep-haven feel unsafe, especially since it is a safe place to be.

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bwittig From: bwittig Date: June 24th, 2008 05:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Your brain was having a tornado drill.

Just making sure that all the alarm and reaction bits are working, in case of a real emergency, even from a deep sleep.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: June 24th, 2008 10:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
ahh, that makes sense!!

I still don't like it. (:
specialagentm From: specialagentm Date: June 24th, 2008 05:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
I get nightmares and night terrors quite a bit. They suck. I know they happened more often than I realize, because when other people are around at night they tell me they hear me screaming even if they're in another room.

I don't know how it affects you, but it's a stress point in relationships too -- Jessica has to wake me up all the time just to stop my screaming and thrashing before I end up hitting her or something.

Fortunately, my good dreams are usually very vivid and meaningful, so I guess it cuts both ways.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: June 24th, 2008 10:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
In the past I've had people wake me up from bad dreams, but I don't remember that happening in awhile. It (bad dreams that I react to in some way) doesn't really happen very often, and it hasn't caused any relationship stress thus far. Hope it stays that way!
renniekins From: renniekins Date: June 25th, 2008 08:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Do you remember your nightmares?
specialagentm From: specialagentm Date: June 25th, 2008 08:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh yeah. Usually even more vividly than my nicer dreams.

There's a reason I'm writing a horror comic -- gotta get these ideas out of my head somehow! :-)
From: bloggingchick Date: June 24th, 2008 09:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
I hate bugs in the bedroom dreams. I had one a couple months or so ago. Hundreds of bugs pouring up through a hole in the floor/carpet right near my bed. They were coming faster than I could vacuum them. Yuck.

You're right, that is just plain wrong.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: June 24th, 2008 10:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yuck yuck yuck!
djinnthespazz From: djinnthespazz Date: June 25th, 2008 01:20 am (UTC) (Link)
Maybe it wasn't a betrayal. Every house has spiders. I woke up once to have one staring in my eye. Way fun.

Maybe you had one run across your hand or something - and the brain gave you a LESS scary scenario to get you up and moving?

(ain't I a great friend? always thinkin' for ya!)
renniekins From: renniekins Date: June 25th, 2008 08:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh great, now I'm going to be awake for a month!!! (:
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