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Whirling - cellophane
the story of an invisible girl
renniekins
renniekins
Whirling
It's been a manic-depressive couple of months for me. Not in the actual bipolar sense, I should hasten to add -- just in the older sense, of whirling from manically happy to depressed on an unpredictable and daily basis.

The good stuff is very good. My job is challenging and rewarding, and I like the people I work with. My relationship makes me very happy. M remains sweet, funny, and somebody I want to keep around in my life. I want to spend more time with him -- and therein lies the problem.

The depressing part is just how hard that is, to spend more time together. Specifically, to move in together. It's weird, really. I mean so many people do this stuff all the time, and they make it look so easy. Fall in love, move in, do other things, sometimes all within the space of months!

For us, the challenge of consolidating from two houses to one seems almost insurmountable. I thought we had a plan figured out, beginning with putting my house on the market. But here it is nearing the end of October and although many have looked at it, nobody has made an offer on my house. Not even a bad one, let alone a good one! The market here is awful right now. I've lost hope; I don't think it will sell this year. I'm still going through the motions of fixing it up every morning in case there is a showing, but I don't really expect anyone else to come. (although I still wish they would.)

It makes me so sad. How can we get to the place we really want to be, which is a third yet-unseen house that will comfortably accommodate both of us, if we can't even sell the house we thought would be easiest to sell? It also makes me sad because we have both waited so long, looking for each other. I wish it could be easier, now that we're found. I want to move on to the next step, move forward in this relationship, see where it leads.

I realize I don't have to sell my house to do that, and we're starting to investigate other options, but it sure would have been easier if I could.

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Comments
c0nsumer From: c0nsumer Date: October 21st, 2009 12:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
You could begin renting the two places. So long as the rent covers the mortgage you'll come out positive in the long run.
aiela From: aiela Date: October 21st, 2009 01:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time selling. The market is so awful right now, especially with so many repo'd homes selling for next to nothing.

It's a beautiful house. I'd want it if we didn't already have one.
xtatic1 From: xtatic1 Date: October 21st, 2009 02:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
1. I left MI last December. It looks like my house there may sell by the end of November. That's just the speed of the market these days.

2. Just because you still own the house doesn't mean you have to live there. You could still move in together at his place and go back to yours periodically to deal with maintenance. Or you could rent it out. Heck, you could rent out both places if you can make the rent cover mortgage payments, and move into your third place.

I know it's not ideal and you have my sympathies.
dagibbs From: dagibbs Date: October 21st, 2009 02:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
*hugs*
jeffreyab From: jeffreyab Date: October 21st, 2009 02:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think the older you get the harder it is to combine households. Its easier when both of you are living with roommates in a rented apartment with very few possessions.

Living at one or the other house on weekends is probably something you are already doing.

Hang in there everything takes time.
(Deleted comment)
specialagentm From: specialagentm Date: October 21st, 2009 02:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm sure this is one of the options you're looking at, but I'd agree that renting out one (or both) of the homes is the way to go. Anything that gets "the plan" moving in some way is probably worth it, just to get some of the stress off your mind and let you and M start the real "together" life-plan.
From: writerwench Date: October 21st, 2009 04:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
This. I sympathise with the aching impatience to be 'Properly Together' - I had to wait a while, too, and looking back on that time, I'm just amazed that I didn't get more frustrated and anxious! It WILL happen, hon. It's just that this stage is incredibly frustrating while you're grinding through it.
Bear's mobile home, a really nice one, has been on the market for a year now, in a highly sought-after area for downsizing retirees. That's how bad the market is over here, too.
specialagentm From: specialagentm Date: October 21st, 2009 04:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
I just find the benefits of being with the person you love by far outweigh any hassles or compromises you make to do it. I'm just saying it's worth it, for sure.
pi3832 From: pi3832 Date: October 21st, 2009 06:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
I rented a property once, and didn't enjoy the process. I'd normally recommend against it, but with the current housing market it may be your best option.

In case you didn't know, you can hire a management company to rent your house for you. They take a cut of the rent, but they deal with the renters, maintenance and repair, etcetcetc.
delosd From: delosd Date: October 21st, 2009 11:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
You have a lot of sympathy from me on this one - I'm in the exact same situation, only not as far along. the1trueheather and I are still trying to figure out whether we have to look for a new house, or if we might be able to make mine work with enough remodeling. I *really* do feel for you and M, the two of us would like nothing better than to just be able to move in together right now and get the horribly frustrating *waiting* over with! My hopes for you that something breaks soon, and you can move on with your lives together. (And great to have gotten the time to talk with you at Clave, and to have had you meet H.)
radiantsoul From: radiantsoul Date: October 22nd, 2009 09:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Lower your asking price?

In the UK properties are quite often auctionned. I also agree with the whole renting the place out, although it is likely to be hard work.
mbumby From: mbumby Date: October 24th, 2009 08:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
Good luck!!!
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