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Metaphysical Society - cellophane
the story of an invisible girl
renniekins
renniekins
Metaphysical Society
I have lived in my house nearly three years (a rather stunning fact, in and of itself, but I digress). I have had the same telephone number the whole time. I picked it out myself. Well I didn't just say "I'd like number xxx-xxx-xxxx", but I did refuse the first number the phone operator offered me, asking if she had something "cooler". She read off several available numbers, and I picked this one because it seemed fairly neat, and (more importantly) fairly easy to memorize.

I should have held out for a better one.

How could I have guessed that my lovely new phone number previously belonged to the local metaphysical society?? Worse yet, apparently this metaphysical society has closed, because I can't find a new number for them anywhere. I have called information, searched the yellow pages, and looked online. Every entry I have found for them lists my telephone number. I've looked pretty hard too, to see if I can find a new number for them...I have done everything short of driving by their listed address, and seeing if they're still there. Even so, I'm fairly sure they're closed now.

So for almost three years, I have been fielding calls for them. Not tons of them, but probably once or twice a week. I get the weirdest messages on my answering machine. Mostly, it's people looking for books, or selling books. But I've heard people asking about crystals, teas, herbs, all kinds of things. I've heard sad messages from people who say they are very sick, and are hoping for some kind of miracle cure. I even had one person say he thought he was psychic, and wanted to be tested.

(This last one really made me pause. I've always joked that psychics shouldn't have 900 numbers. I shouldn't have to call them. They should know when I need information, and they should call me collect to tell it to me. So when this guy's message said he was psychic...well let's just say I was really startled for a moment!!)

You'd think the problem would have gone away by now, but if anything it's gotten worse. I'd kept hoping over time it would gradually disappear, but now I've realized that it's here to stay. There are just too many web pages and lists and whatnot that have my number...and since the place has closed, there is no new number to change it to, and nobody to do the changing!

I'm always polite when somebody actually gets ahold of me, explaining that the place is closed, and this is now a private number. People are generally quite apologetic. But even though my answering machine message is clearly not for a business, I still get the messages. Usually they are tentative, "Yes, I was calling for the metaphysical society? I hope this is the right number..." but then they go on to tell me all about what they need, usually leaving their names and numbers, just in case I'll call them back and sell them crystal balls, eyes of newt, or whatever. I never call them back.

Finally last night, after listening to yet another message, I got sick of the whole thing, so I changed my answering machine message. Now it says, "I'm sorry, the metaphysical society has closed. This is now a private number. If you have a message for renniekins, you can leave it at the tone." I'm sure I'm now going to get all kinds of puzzled messages from people who actually are calling to talk to me, but at least hopefully I won't get as many metaphysical calls.
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Comments
From: stilldocked Date: September 20th, 2002 02:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ami and I used to have the number of a satellite television service, which is defunct, and people always had questions about their service, and when we changed that number, we ended up with Albert and Martha Platz's number, who were dead beats...the worst part is, when Albert's mother, who was in a home, ended up being rushed to the emergency room, the home called my number...I had nothing to give them...

I felt tiny as a human being...
renniekins From: renniekins Date: September 20th, 2002 04:26 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re:

That really sucks, that the guy wouldn't even let his mother's nursing home know his new number! I think I remember you posting about that way back.
From: stilldocked Date: September 20th, 2002 05:06 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re:

you are right, I did...boy...you may be psychic!!!
renniekins From: renniekins Date: September 23rd, 2002 07:27 am (UTC) (Link)
Nah, I'd be psychic if I knew it had happened and you hadn't posted it earlier!
charisma From: charisma Date: September 20th, 2002 02:07 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hey, mon...

You could start answering the phone like Miss Cleo do. It's all about da love, baby!
encorecrazay From: encorecrazay Date: September 20th, 2002 03:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Sol Lewis, one of the co-founders, died, November 30, 2001. But since you're not psychic, you wouldn't have known.

Guess you'll have to go by 3018 W. Robina in Berkley and 23231 Harding St in Oak Park. Neither is that far from you.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: September 20th, 2002 04:24 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re:

Interesting! Maybe he closed the place when he got sick. Yeah, eventually I might stir up the energy to go visit the storefront, and see if it still exists. So far though, it hasn't occurred to me when I actually felt like doing it.
joline From: joline Date: September 20th, 2002 05:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
that would be weird!
i got a phone line installed in my bedroom at the same time my grandfather died, leaving his house empty. my folks got the idea to arrange for me to get my grandparents' old phone number... which is nice, in a nostalgic kind of way, for me. (Even though i get telemarketing calls for my grandparents!)
renniekins From: renniekins Date: September 23rd, 2002 07:26 am (UTC) (Link)
That would be weird, to be fielding calls marked toward old people!
retepsnave From: retepsnave Date: September 23rd, 2002 06:53 am (UTC) (Link)
lol....
wacky story....
my old number use to be for an animal control company.... we've had it for five years now... finally, haven't gotten a call from someone asking for help with a skunk, cat stuck up in a tree, bear sighting, or rabbid animal in quite a while...
yep we used to get some pretty strange calls at odd hours too... but yours certaily takes the cake...
the worst one was a lady calls asking for help buring her kid's cat that just got run over in the road.... she was so very emotional, I almost felt like going over to help anyway... but proposed that she might best try another company name or simply hold the cathartic burial herself....
we'll.... fortunatley our old phone number problem never forced us to change our answering machine...
renniekins From: renniekins Date: September 23rd, 2002 01:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
You're so funny, and so sweet!! I think it's great that you felt so bad you almost went over to help her! Too funny. (:

Hey, gotta ask: did you see the b-day present I posted for you? I think you're the only guy on my friends list who didn't post a response, and I posted it for you!! Hope it was a great day.
retepsnave From: retepsnave Date: September 23rd, 2002 01:40 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re:

oh.. no!
very busy week... perhaps I did miss it...
gonna go check out your LJ now-
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