I stared at him in shock for several moments without being able to think of anything to say. I mean, what a ridiculous notion! Finally I pointed out to him that boys like their members to be touched, yet they don't like condoms. I think this made sense to him.
But really what I wanted to say was, "Don't be such an idiot!"
There are certain people in my past who, if I were to read in the paper one day that they'd been convicted of being serial killers, I wouldn't really be all that surprised. He is one of them. This was "P", now often known in my conversations as "Evil-P" due to some of the circumstances surrounding our breakup.
Lots of exes are designated as evil or bad once they become ex. It's a natural reaction, a defense-mechanism of sorts, even if they really are decent people. Take "Evil-M", for example, my brother's ex-girlfriend. We were talking about her one day, and my sister referred to her by that name. My brother's wife asked him, "She wasn't really all that bad, was she?"
"No, she wasn't," my brother admitted. I added, "...but she broke our little brother's heart, and we simply cannot approve of such behavior."