him: (glances at me) "You don't look like it."
me: "Oh! Well...not all at once...."
me: "You need to leave the oven open when you broil?"
her: "Of course....how do you broil things?"
me: "Why would I do something like that??"
her: "It's the simplest way to cook meat."
me: "I'm afraid of raw meat. I prefer mine in an already-cooked state."
her: "Have you come up with any good birthday presents?"
me: "Mom, your birthday isn't until January. Aren't you just a little over-eager?"
her: "Oh look, here's the cat."
him: "She's probably looking for somebody to hold her over their head on one hand."
her: "No, I think she just wants to be held. And maybe her neck scratched."
him: "That cat is only happy when she's being held over somebody's head on one hand."
I ate my chocolate penis late last night. (How's that for a quote out of context?!) One of my synchro teammates had made them for everybody, and I'd forgotten about mine for awhile. It was large and fairly life-like. I looked at myself in the mirror as I started nibbling at the tip, and I laughed out loud. Probably the funniest moment of the day. It made me wish I'd saved it to eat in front of somebody...but I'm not sure I could have done so without feeling too embarrassed!
(Actually I just ate the shaft last night; I saved the balls for today.)