Log in

No account? Create an account
current entries friends' entries archives about me Previous Previous Next Next
Sick Day, Skating Dream - cellophane — LiveJournal
the story of an invisible girl
Sick Day, Skating Dream
I stayed home from work today. I actually think I'm feeling a tiny bit better than I was the last couple of days, but I'm still just not feeling very good. I was so tired! I crawled into bed last night at 10:30, read for awhile, then fell asleep. I got up around 8:30, and after trying to get motivated for work for awhile, I decided it just wasn't worth it. I know I don't have much to do at work anyway, so I'd be better off here. I went back to bed, and I read and slept off and on until 2pm. 2pm! I remember waking up, thinking it must be around noon...the 2pm came as quite a shocker. Now it is 3:30, and my major accomplishment of the day has been taking a shower and eating a veggie burger. Go me.

I had a weird dream which involved a synchro national championship. I was on the ice, starting the number, when I realized I couldn't really remember the steps! It's like I half-remembered everything, but not really until we started doing it, so I was always just a bit behind. People next to me were trying to remind me, point me in the right direction, and such. At one point I was supposed to pull out of a wheel, but I did it late, and then our whole line had to skip a rotation so we could catch up. I was full of panic, trying to remember what to do, but still carrying myself tall, smiling for the judges, etc. I realized about half-way through that the reason I couldn't remember anything was that we didn't go over the number at all beforehand...we didn't even play the music in the locker room while we were getting ready. Why the heck hadn't we gone through our usual pre-competition rituals? So there I was, mad and upset at the same time, feeling worse and worse...

Then I woke up. I was so relieved to discover that it was all just a dream! I quickly went back to sleep, so I could reassure all of my teammates: "It's okay, this isn't really happening, it's just a bad dream." The dream went better after that, because at least I knew it wasn't real.

Yeah, I have some screwed up dreams sometimes. I get that "style" of dream/nightmare frequently, where something important has just gone irrevocably wrong, and there's nothing I can do to fix things, just deal with the awful consequences. I am always so hugely relieved when I wake up to find it was just a dream, but it always takes me awhile to shake off the sense of doom and futility that the dream leaves me with.

I think I know the partial cause of this one though: I have my dance show tonight. Plus, I just had skating tryouts. The two things got somehow merged in my feverish sleeping brain, I figure. At the dress rehearsal Wednesday, we did the dance twice. I did much better the second time than the first. I need to make sure I go over the dance backstage before we do it! I can also practice it a few times here at home, since I downloaded the music.

That is, assuming I ever find enough energy and motivation to get up from this chair and change out of my bathrobe....


read 6 comments | talk to me!
bjorng From: bjorng Date: June 6th, 2003 02:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
Are your dreams usually this vivid? The way you tell it makes it sound as if you perceive it as RL until you wake up.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: June 9th, 2003 07:37 am (UTC) (Link)
Yes, I think so... I don't remember my dreams very often, but when I do they generally seem very realistic while I'm in them. Especially after disturbing ones, I will often have to take several moments of looking around when I awaken, reassuring myself that it's the middle of the night, I'm in bed, it couldn't possibly have been real.
encorecrazay From: encorecrazay Date: June 6th, 2003 03:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wish I could remember any of my dreams.

Good luck with the dance recital tonight.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: June 9th, 2003 07:34 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, it went well!
abrokenstarr From: abrokenstarr Date: June 9th, 2003 06:00 am (UTC) (Link)

Ok, at risk of seeming like I'm checking up on fantasyman by adding some of the people on his friends list, I added you, as I've come across various amusing comments/posts of yours before (also through behindthefool)

Hope you don't mind!
renniekins From: renniekins Date: June 9th, 2003 09:22 am (UTC) (Link)
I don't mind at all....welcome! I've added you back. (-:
read 6 comments | talk to me!