alpaca princess (renniekins) wrote,
alpaca princess
renniekins

Voice in my head

When the Annoying Loud Guy (who sits one cubicle over from me at work) starts totally driving me crazy, I find myself responding to his conversations in my head. He'll be on the phone with his wife, talking loudly about inane subjects. I silently insert my own responses in the breaks in conversation. It makes me feel a tiny bit better.

"Why are they complaining about people peeing on their lawn?" [he switches to a whining slurred mumbling voice and imiates them briefly, making my skin crawl]
Holy crap Annoying Guy, don't ever make those noises again!
"They should stop complaining and just chain a doberman in their yard!"
What?!
"Then nobody would pee on their lawn, unless they wanted their thing bitten off."
What if they don't actually want a doberman?
"Those people in Wyandott are the most whining, complaining, obnoxious people anywhere!"
You mean like you?
"I'm so glad I don't live there anymore!"
I wish you were in Wyandott right now.
"I don't understand why people would complain about something like this!"
I don't understand why you're a COMPLETE IDIOT!
[He continues on at this point, but I can no longer hear him over the sound of my head-voice...]
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, YOU ARE SO STUPID, SHUT UP, YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!
"Okay, talk to you later, bye."

[Silence. Peace and quiet. It's over...for now.]

And yes, those are actual things he said, as close as I can remember them. He apparently thought somebody was a complainer because some stranger was peeing on their lawn?! That's too weird.

(And oh no....I'm not repressed. Everything's fine! I'm not going to explode one day. No-siree, not me. Everything's just a-okay here in cubicle-land! heehee.)
Tags: work
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