December 6th, 2001

duke-juggle

Top Things Programmers Are Least Likely To Say

Took this off the Dilbert "short list", and stripped out the parts I didn't think were as funny. Then of course added my own comments in italics...

1. Sure, I'll be happy to throw away six months of work (and pay) so I can add the functions you initially said you didn't want.
This happens to me all the time.

2. I think this program should do just what the customer wants, not what we think is cool.
If it's not cool, why do it?

3. Dress down Fridays? I don't think so! We're professionals and should dress as such.
i.e., dress down every day!

4. I'm really not interested in discussing the physics of Star Trek with you right now. I've got to get ready for a date.
Okay that one's not me at all, but it made me smile even so.

5. I finished the code two weeks ago; I'd just like a little more time to polish the documentation.
heh...the what?

7. No, thanks - I don't care for Twinkies, Jolt Cola, or Star Trek.
Well, I like twinkies....

8. I wish we could do this in COBOL (or: FORTRAN)!
Yuck!

9. My code could use more comments.

10. Our marketing department is simply genius!
Never happens. Never.