March 17th, 2004


Still Sick

Longest cold ever. Or maybe I'm just impatient. Okay, I'm definitely impatient. Still, it's been over a week now. I wish it would go away.

I'm better than yesterday though. I'm at work, for one thing, instead of where I was yesterday - sprawled on my couch, moaning pitifully. (Nah, that's not true. I wasn't moaning. Well, not very often at least. Occasionally whimpering a little maybe, but very bravely. Yeah, that's it. Brave.)

It's strange: I thought I was getting better, but yesterday was the worst I've felt so far. Along with the standard cold symptoms, I had a terrible headache. It was there all day, growing progressively worse and worse, and my numerous applications of advil did nothing to touch it. I even tried a vicodin, which took the edge off of it for awhile, but that was all.

I spent the day alternating between sleeping and staring blankly at the television. I occasionally checked my email, but sitting up hurt too much to stay long. By late afternoon, my skull was filled with Liquid Pain. Moving or lifting it was difficult, and standing up sent the pain sloshing everywhere, making me feel unstable and nauseous.

I knew I was probably somewhat dehydrated, and I knew I was supposed to be drinking fluids. I had a bottle of water that I occasionally sipped from, but drinking seemed like too much work. At some point I forced myself to eat a cereal bar, thinking food would help, but that was just exhausting. Mostly I just sprawled on my couch with my tissues and my cats, trying to find a position where my head did not hurt too much.

G came over for a bit, kindly bringing me a thermos of soup, plus some lemon and honey! I couldn't bring myself to eat anything yet, but I really appreciated it even so. It was great to see him, and we talked for a bit. Sitting up and talking made my head hurt though, so he didn't stay very long.

I knew C was supposed to come over to pick up some stuff in the evening, so I mustered up enough energy to turn my porch light on before I curled up in a ball on the couch, half-asleep. Then I thought I should have unlocked the door for him, but it was too far away, and I knew he still had a key anyway.

A little while later, I thought I heard a car in my driveway. I waited, but I didn't hear anything more, so I figured I was imagining it. Then, far away, I heard the sound of my door opening. Puzzled that it sounded so far away, I glanced at my front door. It was closed. "I must be hallucinating, that's all," I thought, and I shut my eyes again. A few minutes later, I heard him stomping snow off his shoes by the side door. "Oh. That makes more sense."

C finally appeared, with orange juice, more chicken soup, cookies, and cough drops! Very nice of him. I still couldn't eat anything, but I did drink some oj. When I told him about the Sphere Of Pain where my head had once been, he asked if it was sinus-related. I had considered that, but I didn't think so. It wasn't in my face, it was all above and behind my ears. He convinced me to take a decongestant anyway, plus some more advil.

I slumped against his shoulder, not wanting to lift my head, and we talked for awhile. Sometimes when I'm ill, it colors how I see the rest of my life. I have a terrible cold right now, so surely I will always have it, right? So we were talking about an event scheduled for october, which would involve some running. "I'm too sick to run," I said. "So I can't go."

He laughed at me. At some later point in the conversation though, I miraculously started to feel a little better! My Monster Unmanageable Headache retreated to just a normal headache. I could stand without nausea. I felt like I just had a cold, instead of feeling at death's door. I'm not sure what did it -- visiting with G and C, the advil, the decongestant, the oj, or perhaps the combination of all of it... but I was ever-so-relieved and grateful, regardless of the reason.

I was finally well enough to eat, so I had some chicken soup. Then I had a few chocolate chip cookies, plus some wonderful tea (from my favorite barista) with the yummy honey and lemon that G had donated. I felt human again. It was lovely.

Today I even made it back to work. I enjoyed G's lemony chicken soup for lunch. I'm still stuffy and headachey, but I feel mostly human. Yay for health and good friends! Maybe this time I'm really on my way to being recovered - I hope so... I'm tired of my body's falling-apartness.

Green All Over

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I hope you enjoyed some corned beef and cabbage while wearing lots of green clothing....just like I did.

Despite the "ski" at the end of "renniekinski", I am 25% Irish. That's as much Irish as I am Polish! The rest of me is German....but all of me is really just American. Even so, I like green. It matches my eyes!