July 16th, 2004


Little stories to tell

I stopped for cookies when I was at a mall last week. I ordered two m&m cookies. The salesgirl looked directly at me with wide worried eyes and asked, "Will you need a drink?" She really amused me, because it didn't seem like a conditioned ya-want-fries-with-that question. Instead, it sounded like she was genuinely concerned about the kind of thirst I would probably suffer after eating two m&m cookies.

My cat-hammock is broken. The ends are collapsed, so it doesn't cradle a cat properly anymore. My cats determinedly sit in it anyway, lying across the short width so they won't fall out, huddled up by the window where the unbroken part is.

In Muskegon, I saw a sign advertising a chili dog. The text read: It's meat sauce, on top of meat. Is this a great country, or what?

I saw an old man the other day who was missing most of one hand. He had his entire thumb, and he had the "heel" of his hand, but all the fingers and the top of the hand were gone. Thus the bottom section of the thumb, which is usually hidden in one's hand, was exposed. It made his thumb look incredibly long, like he had a flexible multi-jointed tentacle sticking right out of his wrist. Talk about creepy but fascinating! It was all I could do not to stare rudely or approach for a better look.

The other night, I was suffering from one of my tunafish cravings. I don't know where these come from (maybe feline ancestry?), but every now and then I just really need a tunafish sandwich. On toasted bread, with crunchy lettuce or celery. The next afternoon I finally went for a walk to a local diner and fulfilled it.

Walking home, I stopped for an ice cream sundae. As I was walking away, a guy was walking up. He saw my sundae and said, "Wow, that looks good!"

"I hope so," I replied. He told the kid at the window he wanted what I was having, so I told the kid, "Hot fudge sundae with caramel sauce." (I didn't mention that I'd gotten mine with frozen yogurt, in a futile attempt to pretend I was being healthy. I didn't think he was a frozen-yogurt kind of guy.)

I sat at a picnic table in the sun to eat my treat, then I started to walk home. I passed the guy, who was sitting in his truck eating his sundae. He told me, "You were right, this is good. Thanks for the recommendation!"

I joked, "You're welcome...that's what I'm here for."

"How about breakfast recommendations?"

I paused, squinched my face thoughtfully, then said, "I like omelets."

I was about to continue by directing him to my favorite omelet place, when he asked, "Will you be making it?"

I paused, startled. Oh! This was a different sort of conversation than I'd realized, and he was not the kind of guy I was interested in having it with. "No..." I told him. He started to ask why, but gave him a friendly wave. "Have a great evening!" And I turned on me heel and walked away. As I walked, I listened carefully for the sound of his car behind me... I was slightly relieved not to hear it starting.