Tonight, perhaps half a Nyquil. Would that be just a Nyq? Or maybe I should just take the Uil. No, wait. It's the left side that hurts...that means I should take the Nyq part. Unless it's written in Hebrew. Then I'll take just the Liu, and nothing more.
Tomorrow I shall probably take half the day off, and spend it resting with half my body in bed. I shall drink halfway inbetween "lots of fluids" and "the amount of fluids I generally drink". I think I'll watch the first half of lots of soap operas, and I will watch the second half of some talk shows.
I will wear only one contact lens, and I will dress warmly on half of my body. The other half won't need the warmth, so I'll dress business-casual there. I'd better wear half a hat when I go to my half-day of work.
I'll wear one fuzzy slipper, and one mitten. I'll walk slowly with my left foot, and bounce happily on my right. Every other word I say will be deep-throated and scratchy. I will constantly blow one nostril, and I will breathe freely out of the other.
I've never had half a cold before. Perhaps it will be an adventure! Or maybe I'll just stop being silly and get back to work.