"Great. Now all I need is a dog."
"I seem to see a pattern. You have consistently fallen for people who don't want to commit to you, but aren't interested in the ones who would do anything for you."
"I wonder if I am unconsciously sabatoging myself, or if I just have crappy luck."
"Have you tried putting on a pair of skates yet?"
"You mean I'm allowed to?"
"Sure, as long as you promise not to do any jumping or fancy stuff."
"No, you're not allowed to yet."
"Guess what, I have a gmail account now!"
"It's the new web email that Google is beta-testing. Apparently it's all the rage, everyone wants one. There's a whole website devoted to people trading favors for invite codes. I posted an offer on a whim, and it got accepted!"
"What did you offer?"
"An inflatable penguin."
"Do you even have an inflatable penguin?"
"Sure I do, so do you. We got them at the RSA conference."
"No, I didn't get one...."
"Oh dear, I hope you don't want one, because I just promised mine away."
"So why do you say you didn't eat healthily today?"
"Well, I left PT at 3pm. Coincidentally, you might remember that there was a huge rainstorm at 3pm today. I hadn't eaten lunch yet, and thought I'd stop at the McDonalds drivethru and try the chicken salad I see advertised everywhere. It was literally deluging rain, so heavy I had to drive very very slowly just in order to see out my windshield. I wondered: can one go through a drivethru in a rainstorm? I certainly didn't want to get out of my car to go in anywhere: I'd get soaked. Something seemed really weird about using a fast food drivethru during a Severe Weather Warning, but I was hungry! I decided to try it. I pulled into the McDonalds parking lot, barely able to see the driveway through the downpour. It wasn't until I was right on top of it that I saw the drivethru lane, then I swerved into it. There were other cars in front of me, so apparently one can use the drivethru in a rainstorm. I pulled up to the order-box, and pushed the "down" button for my electric window. The window automatically lowers all the way for you when you just push the button once. The rain started pouring into my car. It was like I was taking a shower, right there in the driver seat. I rolled the window back up. Of course I realized I couldn't possibly place my order with the window up. I tried to crack it, but it went all the way down again. I fought with the button, the window going up and down. Rain was spilling everywhere; my shirt was soaked. Finally I got it to stop a crack, but it was still literally raining inside my car. I squinted, pulled my face away, and realized that there was no way on earth I'd be able to hear the microphone, nor place an order. There was rain and wind and thunder and I couldn't hear anything; it was insanity. I decided this was ridiculous and tried to drive away. There turned out to be a curb there along the drivethru that I couldn't see through the deluge, so my car had to bounce right over it as I made my escape. My windshield wipers were on high, but I still couldn't go faster than 10 MPH and still see through the windshield. I crept my way back to work, then the part of me that didn't get soaked in the drivethru episode got wet as I walked back into my building."
"So what did you eat for lunch?"
"The deli in my building had stopped making sandwiches, which is why I'd been trying to go elsewhere. So I had to eat sunflower seeds, peanuts, and raisons."
"Well that's not too bad for you."
"I thought it was the healthiest thing I could find. But later on I got hungry again, so I had to have a candy bar. It tasted so good, I had to have a second."
"Let's all do the program on the wet grass in the backyard in the dark!"
"Okay, sounds fun!"
"Will you be able to?"
"Oh that's right: I forgot I'm broken."