"Is this renniekins?" I confirmed it was. "This is Pete's Porn Shop. You've won $1000 worth of DVDs and other materials in our raffle!"
My still-sleeping mind tried to engage. A telemarketer? Now? "No thanks, I'm not interested."
"But you've won the grand prize."
"Wait, what store did you say you were?"
"Pete's Porn Shop."
I just won $1000 worth of porn? That's really weird. "No, no I'm definitely not interested."
"But you filled out the card to enter the drawing. Or maybe one of your friends did. Are you even over eighteen?"
"Well you'd better talk to your friends. Because somebody filled out the card with your name. And we've got all of this pornography just sitting around..."
"Okay okay, thanks, bye."
I hung up as he was saying "bye", and he didn't call back. I stared at the phone in confusion. I was awake now, if only barely. Was that a prank call? It had to be. But who makes prank calls anymore, especially using my name and everything? It didn't sound like a kid. It also didn't sound like a voice I recognized.
He almost sounded serious. But who makes promotional calls at three o'clock in the morning? And who names their store "Pete's Porn Shop"? Well, somebody named Pete, I suppose. (Actually it might have been a different first name, I don't remember for sure.) I do fill out drawings for free stuff occasionally, but I've never been to anybody's Porn Shop. And it was the middle of the night!
Talk about a weird way to wake up. I crawled back into bed and spent some time mulling it over. I also spent some time wondering if my doors were locked, and being hyper-sensitive to any noise I heard in the house. Eventually I fell back asleep.
This morning when I remembered the strange call, I wondered if it hadn't just been a dream. But I tried *69 on my phone. It said that my last call had come from a private number it couldn't disclose, and it had occurred today at 3:30am. It offered to actually dial it for me, but I hung up. I'm not sure if it can make the call, if the number is private? I don't generally use this *69 thing. I'm also not sure what on earth I'd say if somebody actually answered the phone, if it did go through.