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LJ Confessional - LJ Confessional - cellophane Page 3 — LiveJournal
the story of an invisible girl
renniekins
renniekins
LJ Confessional
I have a confession I'd like to make. Maybe a few. Sometimes I don't want anybody to know it was ME, but I want to say something.

I think that sometimes other people feel that way too. In fact, just a few days ago somebody on my friends list was musing about how nice it would be if there was a place for non-catholics to confess things.

I know LJ isn't the best place for such things, but I find the occasional anonymous confession to be good -- not to mention that it is fascinating to read others' confessions. I did this once before, and it's worth a read. It's amazing to see how many similar things are on our minds, and also the unique issues that others face.

This post is not friends-locked, and I have turned off IP logging. I am allowing anonymous comments on this post, in fact I am ENCOURAGING anonymous comments on this post! I'd prefer no comments with your user name. This is a place to be honest. Be open. Say whatever's on your mind. Also feel free to respond to other comments -- but stay anonymous.

It's okay to be silly, deeply personal, or somewhere inbetween... but please don't be rude.

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Comments
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From: (Anonymous) Date: February 24th, 2007 09:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
I have a memory of an older brother french kissing me when I was really little. Just once, because I asked what that meant so he showed me. But, I can't remember if it was him or his friend! I definitely remember that I told someone once that it was my brother and when they said something in front of my brother, he seemed truly, genuinely shocked and apalled, which made me think maybe I was wrong, maybe it was a dream, maybe it didn't even happen, or if it did, maybe it was someone else. It puzzles me. But if it did happen, it was only once. And nowadays, I find myself thinking sometimes, what difference does it make, anyway? It was so long ago, that knowing one way or another wouldn't make a difference, I don't think.
From: (Anonymous) Date: February 24th, 2007 10:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm experiencing massive amounts of depression, lonliness, overwhelmdedness (yes I know this isn't a word), and just plan fuck this syndrome. I feel like everyone else thinks I'm ugly so I say I'm ugly even though I really don't feel that way about myself most of the time. Hell even though I know I'm fat, I don't even feel fat most of the time. I don't have sex with my boyfriend because I hate sex right now and he will leave me eventually because of it. Our relationship sucks anyways and he's kind of an ass who lacks any real ability to communicate with him but he used to be my friend and I love him and I can't figure out how to let go of how I thought it would be and see if how it is will ever make me happy. I don't know how to make my life what I want it to be and I'm really tired of trying. I often just want to sleep and wake up when it's better. I don't know how to pull it all together. I'm doing too much and there's literally nothing I can stop doing. I feel like I'm trying to swim to survive but I don't have arms and something is about to come along and rip off my legs too, just to see if I can take it.
From: (Anonymous) Date: February 25th, 2007 07:30 am (UTC) (Link)
I hope things get better for you.
From: (Anonymous) Date: February 26th, 2007 01:57 am (UTC) (Link)

I cheated

I cheated the other night. I got really drunk with a coworker that I have always had the hots for, and I drove him back to his place. We stayed out and watched a movie ended up making out. Woke up in his bed.

I feel totally evil, since I have never been faithful to any man, and worse because I should just leave my bf, but I am too pathetic to. He doesn't love me, but I love him so much. I know he won't change his mind, so I guess this was sort of a retaliation.

So since I can't confess to him, I guess I am confessing to LJ.
From: (Anonymous) Date: February 27th, 2007 12:48 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: I cheated

You're not evil. You just need to learn to love yourself first, and other people second.
From: (Anonymous) Date: February 27th, 2007 02:50 am (UTC) (Link)
I want to have sex with people who aren't my partner. I'm not unhappy or unsatisfied, I just like the feeling of someone new touching me for the very first time.


Thank you for making this anon-friendly.

From: (Anonymous) Date: February 27th, 2007 06:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think lots of people feel that way and newness is exciting.
From: (Anonymous) Date: February 27th, 2007 05:47 am (UTC) (Link)
My sexual fantasies really disturb me. I'm not going to act them out, so they should be "safe space," but I just hate having this horrible stuff in my brain, and being unable to get off without thinking about it. And being aroused by seeing news stories about people getting arrested for actually doing these things. I feel like a horrible person, like there's a monster inside trying to get out and I have to fight it all the time, but I can't have an orgasm without the monster's help.
From: (Anonymous) Date: February 27th, 2007 03:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
The monster is a symptom of something wrong in your life. Your subconscious is trying to tell you something.

It won't be easy to identify or fix the problem. But it'll be worth it. Good luck.
From: (Anonymous) Date: February 28th, 2007 02:23 am (UTC) (Link)
I suppose that could be true in the sense that I've felt worse and worse about the content of my fantasies over the last few years...but in fact, like most people's, my fetishes have been pretty stable since puberty.
From: (Anonymous) Date: March 1st, 2007 06:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
I had an abortion in August. I haven't told anyone....they would hate me. My mom would disown me. I hate myself.
From: (Anonymous) Date: March 1st, 2007 06:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
You don't need to tell anyone, and you don't have to be judged by anyone... including yourself. You did what was right at the time, in a very pressured situation I'm sure.
From: (Anonymous) Date: March 5th, 2007 10:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
I still sometimes think depression is nothing but an excuse to be lazy and selfish and to hurt other people. For me as much as for anyone else.
From: (Anonymous) Date: March 5th, 2007 10:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's not an excuse. Sometimes it's a predisposing factor for those things, but it genuinely exists separately from them.

Proof: depressed people hurt themselves at least as much as they hurt anyone else. You don't need an excuse to do that.

From: (Anonymous) Date: March 6th, 2007 05:22 am (UTC) (Link)
Does their pain make it okay for them to hurt me?
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