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the story of an invisible girl
Talking to Cats
The other night I decided to microwave a frozen salmon thingy I got a Trader Joe's. Unfortunately, in my fear of not cooking it long enough, I was overzealous and burned the bottom. The top was still good though, so I ate the top off of it anyway.

When it came out of the microwave, it smelled strongly of fish. Fish! All three of my cats wound around my legs lovingly. "Nope, it's not for you," I told them.

I sat on the couch with it, then set the plate down on the coffee table for a moment to pick up my book. Mocha hopped up on the table to take a sniff.

"No," I told her firmly, thwacking the only part of her I could reach, the tip of her tail. She pouted and hopped back down.

I continued in my head, not speaking aloud, "You can't have any salmon. Even the part that is too burnt for me to eat, I'm not giving it to you. I'm putting it down the disposal. Too bad."

Why didn't I say it out loud? Well because they are CATS. Their grasp of the English language is rudimentary at best. At worst, nonexistent.

I often talk to my cats. I think many cat owners do. Sometimes I do it aloud... But just as frequently I speak the words inside my head. They won't understand anyway. The complex things I say to my cats -- it's really just for my benefit, so why voice it?

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jeffreyab From: jeffreyab Date: March 27th, 2007 02:45 am (UTC) (Link)
Reminds me of Cartman in "South Park" trying to eat his chocolate chicken pot pie:

"NOOOO kitty, this is my chocolate chicken pot pie!"

"GO AWAY!, kitty is a bad kitty!"

Its the tone not the words.
joline From: joline Date: March 27th, 2007 02:58 am (UTC) (Link)
I just ate one of those tonight!

I think it's easier to just use the oven. 20 minutes at 350 and you don't have to worry about parasites. :)
c0nsumer From: c0nsumer Date: March 27th, 2007 03:07 am (UTC) (Link)
specialagentm From: specialagentm Date: March 27th, 2007 03:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
My exact thoughts
shadowriderhope From: shadowriderhope Date: March 27th, 2007 03:42 am (UTC) (Link)
Heh. I talk to my cats incessantly. ;) I figure since I live with no other living creatures, I may as well talk to them, even if they don't understand.

And I have this little rant I often go on - "NO. This is Not For Kats. NFK. Not For Kats." I don't know why it's NFK, but probably because it sounds better than NFC. ;)

Yes, I'm weird.
(no subject) - davehogg - Expand
jebra From: jebra Date: March 27th, 2007 04:31 am (UTC) (Link)
You've reminded me of one of my favorite cat quotes:
"If cats are so smart, how come, after all these generations among us, they haven't learned English? The French did. The Germans did. The Italians did. The Vietnamese did. And some of the Norwegians."
-- Bill Hall
ellison From: ellison Date: March 27th, 2007 06:56 am (UTC) (Link)
I talk to my cats all the time. And a kind of cool thing happened - my cat learned her name! Patches! And since it sounds alike, she also turns her head and looks at us intently every time we say, "Cat." She's even kind of learning Homer's name (the other cat). I think they know we're trying to communicate with them when we talk out loud, and they like it, even if they don't know what we're saying. My cats tend to start purring any time I start talking to them, which makes me feel good, hehe.
johnridley From: johnridley Date: March 27th, 2007 11:12 am (UTC) (Link)
I don't think it would be normal to not talk to your pets. Heck, I talk to my fish. OK, not really to them, more like "at" them. And not the little ones in the tropical tank. The big 10-inch-long koi and goldfish. I mainly tell them to "knock it off already, I'm getting the food" when they see me in the morning and start splashing water out of the tank and really kicking up a lot of noise. Their way of telling me that they are about to perish of hunger. Of course, goldfish are always hungry...

The furry mobile ones get talked to all the time. This is good because it keeps me from talking to myself quite as much. If ratios of talking to one's self versus talking to others counts as a measure of sanity, I guess pets keep us a little saner.
From: writerwench Date: March 27th, 2007 12:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
Why not give them the leftovers, in their individual bowls? That's what we do. Three of the cats know their names and respond to them, the fourth is completely deaf and responds only to a stamp on the floor. The rapid double-stamp of the Space Vixens is his signal for food!

I buy small tins of extremely cheap economy salmon 'chunks' in brine (usually shreds and scraps, not chunks) and the four get one tin shared between them every morning. The two oldest cats have their daily medication ground up in their portions - not that they notice.

greyyguy From: greyyguy Date: March 27th, 2007 12:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
I talk to my cats, but Bob is the only one that gets into a conversation with me. He will meow, I'll respond, he'll meow in reply, and we will go back and forth for a little bit.

Intellectually, I know it is my imagination, but there are a number of times that his responses seem to give a very accurate emotional response to what I have said. Like telling him he cannot ave something and he gives a sort of mournful meow, and when told no again, a much more curt "you suck" sort of meow. It is weird.
hannunvaakuna From: hannunvaakuna Date: March 27th, 2007 03:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
i talk to my kitties all the time. sometimes they even talk back. Dewey talks with pathetic meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeows and Charlotte is kind of chirpy. thankfully, neither of them seems all that interested in people food, unless it's, of all things, American cheese slices or milk.
specialagentm From: specialagentm Date: March 27th, 2007 03:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was about to comment that Lilith meows back at me all the time. I feel like we're having conversations.

Of course, then I sneeze and my eyes water and I remember why I don't want this cat living with me permanently. Or, the meowing doesn't stop, and then it's 3am and cute goes right out the window and turns into me squirting her with a water bottle so she'll go hide in the basement for a while and let me sleep.

It's a mixed bag :-D
From: bloggingchick Date: March 27th, 2007 11:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
I talk to my cats all the time too. The only word she doesn't understand is "NO" when I try to deny her people food. She loves people food, not so fond of her own dry boring food. I finally give up & give her some of mine.
drteeth26 From: drteeth26 Date: March 31st, 2007 08:41 am (UTC) (Link)
Here's some proof that cats CAN speak English...


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