alpaca princess (renniekins) wrote,
alpaca princess


Another year, another anniversary, and I feel repetitive. But still, I think he should be formally remembered once a year. Informally, it's more frequent than that. (But not every day, not all the time. Just one part of my past, not every part of my past. He was my fiance once upon a time. He left more dramatically than most, and I love his memory, but he remains past not present.)

S.M.L.      June 29, 1970 - July 6, 1999

I still remember.

An excerpt from Demian, by Herman Hesse
"And she told me about a youth who had fallen in love with a planet. He stood by the sea, stretched out his arms and prayed to the planet, dreamed of it, and directed all his thoughts to it. But he knew, or felt he knew, that a star cannot be embraced by a human being. He considered it to be his fate to love a heavenly body without any hope of fulfillment and out of this insight he constructed an entire philosophy of renunciation and silent, faithful suffering that would improve and purify him. Yet all his dreams reached the planet. Once he stood again on the high cliff at night by the sea and gazed at the planet and burned with love for it. And at the height of his longing he leaped into the emptiness toward the planet, but at the instant of leaping "it's impossible" flashed once more through his mind. There he lay on the shore, shattered. He had not understood how to love. If at the instant of leaping he had had the strength of faith in the fulfillment of his love he would have soared into the heights and been united with the star."
Tags: stevie
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