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Do you believe in ghosts? - cellophane — LiveJournal
the story of an invisible girl
Do you believe in ghosts?
You know the things you do when you're all alone, nobody else is around? You know what I mean, stuff you are too embarrassed to do in sight of anybody. Not just the "naughty" things, even the goofy things. Like picking at your belly-button lint, or doing silly things in the mirror. Everybody has some eccentricities they don't want others to see.

Do you ever worry about ghosts watching? I do sometimes.

I don't even believe in ghosts, not really completely, but you never know. I mean, all kinds of things are possible.

I used to worry about it a lot right after S died. I pictured it like the movie Ghost, where he'd just be hanging out watching me while I was by myself at home. The idea still pops into my head now and then. What if ghosts are watching me as I go about my private business? It's not that I'm afraid of ghosts; I just don't like the idea of them spying on me.

Like this evening, when I indulged in a particularly long and loud hacking/ nose-blowing/ throat-clearing session (darn allergies). I would never be that disgusting in public; I'd be discrete and take care of the minimum sinus-clearing possible. But when I'm alone? Why bother?

When I'd finally purged all the gunk from my nose, I glanced at the tissue. The sight of the tissue didn't bother me. In fact it was a relief to feel cleaned out. But for whatever the reason, a thought of Unseen Watchers popped into my head. I squinched up my face and frowned at the thing before I threw it away, making an "eeew" sort of expression.

I made a little face and pretended to find it disgusting -- entirely for the potential ghosts' benefit.

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shakespeare__ From: shakespeare__ Date: July 18th, 2007 04:28 am (UTC) (Link)
I feel that after you die you can look back at your life, or whatever and I'm scared to see me doing gross things lmao.
anderale From: anderale Date: July 18th, 2007 06:43 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh thank dog that I'm not the only one who does these silly/weird things!

By the way, I got your wonderful fun filled card the other day. It may have been hormones or something, but it made me a little weepy! *squish!*
From: writerwench Date: July 18th, 2007 01:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
You wouldn't believe the number of commuters I see doing that sort of thing on the train, in public, completely UNbothered that they're grossing out everyone around them. At least they don't spit. But that's about it.

Yes, sometimes I suddenly feel at home that I'm being watched by invisible eyes, and I straighten up, push back my hair, and get busy doing something worthy. Fortunately it doesn't happen often.
silver_bits From: silver_bits Date: July 18th, 2007 01:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think I'm most amused that you were so self-conscious about the ghosts (that may or may not exist), that you had to post the entire event on the internet for all to see. :grin: That just made my day!

Oh, and thanks for coming out last week, I hope you guys had a good time, despite the completely unprecedented dog squabble as you showed up!
greyyguy From: greyyguy Date: July 18th, 2007 03:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
It isn't the ghosts you need to worry about. It is the ceiling cats.
hoshisabi From: hoshisabi Date: July 18th, 2007 03:28 pm (UTC) (Link)

I just want to point out

I just want to point this out, because it amuses me.

You worry about what someone who observes you might think (even when the observer is invisible and unlikely but possible) and not what someone who hears a recounting might think (when the observer is invisible and guaranteed).

I do stuff at home, feel stupid because "If someone was watching, I'd feel stupid." Then I'll go tell someone face-to-face that I've done it, but not feel stupid. Then later, I'll think the thought I mentioned above. Then I'll paralyze myself by analyzing the fact that I analyzed it, then in turn analyze that fact... and eventually someone will tap me on the shoulder and a season has passed.
skyflame From: skyflame Date: July 18th, 2007 03:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
When I was a teenager, my bedroom door used to open randomly (and occasionally close as well). It got to the point that I would just say hello to the ghostie when the door opened. I absolutely believe in ghosts; however, I also have an irrational fear of them, but only when I'm by myself. Stick another person with me and I'm fine.

This topic should be its own LJ post for me, actually. :)
ellison From: ellison Date: July 18th, 2007 10:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've never thought of that. But I will now, thanks! hahaha! :D

You are really awesome, and write the best posts. I love that you share these kinds of thoughts!
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