Dear left-lower-back/hip: please stop hurting, and I'll stop making you cold.
Dear right-shoulder: same thing, and stop doing creepy popping things, and we can play tennis.
Dear C++ professor: please teach me cool things without working me too hard, and I'll give you an apple.
Dear floor: please vacuum yourself, and I'll walk more gently.
Dear bedroom: please tidy yourself, and I'll put away my suitcase.
Dear mail: please sort and file and manage yourself, and I'll recycle you.
Dear me: please feel better, and I'll take you out for ice cream.
Dear cats: stop making messes and clean your own litter, and I'll feed you the good food.
Dear bike: please fix your flat tire, and I'll ride you more.
Dear job: please become less crowded and more cool, and I'll stay longer.
Dear resume: please be amazing and captivating, and I'll let you play with other resumes.
Thank you all for your attention,