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the story of an invisible girl
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From: writerwench Date: September 27th, 2007 05:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
I know exactly what you mean about being responsible for everything. I've done that for 26 years... the husband wouldn't accept responsibility for anything to do with the house or kids. He'd support the kids financially, but they were MY choice not his, therefore every time - EVERY time - they needed anything, it was up to me to meet that need. Very, very wearying, and it grew in me a deep root of bitter resentment towards him.

I've always changed the lightbulbs, taken out the trash, cleaned up the cat mess, made the decorating decisions, done the room painting, made the curtains...or rarely and extravagantly ordered them MADE... I've chosen the carpets, the furniture, the kids' schools, the cars.

And now I have a lovely guy who is very traditional and wants to help, and get things fixed up round here, and he fixes and he mends and he repairs, and I love it, but at the same time I'm feeling 'Er, excuse me, hello, I'm not used to this Being Helped, just take it slowly please?'. It's quite an effort to allow someone to share the burdens I've carried alone for so long.

I remember the original Batman TV show - my lord it was hokey and silly... I can't think why Mother let us watch it! That 'walking up buildings' that was so obviously a camera on its side... 'holy broken bones, Batman!'.
Yeah. That's a bit sad, that I still laugh at that.
mbumby From: mbumby Date: October 1st, 2007 08:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
(RE Resentment: Yeah -- somehow it's worse to be doing it all when there's another ostensible adult also in the household than it is when one is by oneself. Especially when s/he seems to be *making* no end of the mess.)
read 19 comments | talk to me!