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Weird Thoughts on Cats - cellophane — LiveJournal
the story of an invisible girl
Weird Thoughts on Cats
I have three cats. I have two cats who like me very much, who now and then cuddle with me, sit on my lap, let me pet them, sleep with me, and so forth. I was talking about this with The Incredible Shrinking Librarian last week, and it got me thinking.

My third cat (Mocha, see icon) is basically indifferent to me. She's not a friend; she's a roommate. She doesn't sit on my lap, and although I occasionally pet her I'm never sure if she really likes it. She's an odd duck. Um, cat. She'll meow and roll around and purr, like she wants to be petted, but if I actually try to she'll spring up and run away, or move around in circles so I can't actually do so.

Even odder is that fact that other people often pet her when they visit. She's not a lap cat, and won't ever curl up with somebody, but sometimes she'll lie next to visitors and purr away while they pet her. She'll squirm and rub her head against them and wiggle, but she likes to be petted.

Sometimes I wonder if she would be happier elsewhere. She's so cute, and she plays and rolls around and meows like a kitten, but she just doesn't seem to like being with me much. She also fights a lot with Mouse, hissing and snarling and chasing each other around. Then they'll stop and glare at each other, making deep--in-the-throat growling noises that creep me out. They sound like beasts, not pets, and I'm sure none of the three of us are happy when they do that.

She and Robin used to get along really well, cuddling up together frequently, but I haven't seen them do that as much anymore. She doesn't fight with him at least, and I think occasionally they'll still curl up together. I think Robin might be the only one Mocha likes here.

Mocha was really S's cat. I had two cats when I moved in with him, and we went to a pet supplies store one day -- they were having an adoption thing, and he fell in love with Mocha. I thought she was adorable, in a "pet her a lot in the store and then leave her there" sort of way, but he really wanted to take her home with us. I allowed myself to be talked into it, on the condition that she was HIS if we ever split up. I didn't really want three cats, but it wasn't so bad when two of us had three cats.

Obviously I inherited her when he died, and now I have three. I wonder if that's why she's indifferent to me, because she knows she was an accident? (She wasn't planned, after all.)

Sometimes I wonder if she'd be happier elsewhere. She really does seem to get along with my friends better than she does me. In some ways, she makes me sad. It makes me sad when she doesn't seem to like me, and even sadder when she and Mouse fight. Sometimes I wonder: does anybody want a kitty? Or know somebody in need of a kitty? She's beautiful and funny, squirmy and friendly, playful, but doesn't sit on laps much. She's almost 10, spayed, and has no front claws.

I'm more-or-less serious about this. I'd never send her to a shelter or to a place where she wasn't loved and happy. But if I found a place she'd be happier, I'd let her go there. If she went somewhere and it wasn't right, I'd take her home again. But sometimes I think she doesn't really feel at home here. I wish I could find her a place where she was happier.

I feel awful for even thinking this or suggesting such a thing. That's why this post is titled "weird thoughts". But at the same time.... I don't know. I wonder if she's really supposed to be somewhere else.

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djinnthespazz From: djinnthespazz Date: February 10th, 2008 01:37 am (UTC) (Link)
Two queen cats (fixed or not, they are always a queen) in one house can be tricky. It sounds like she's the low cat in the pecking order and therefore not 'allowed' to let you pet her.

If someone falls in love with her, I'd definitely advise re-homing her. She's beautiful. If I was still in Michigan, I'd be tempted (and Mark would be doing that deep-in-the-throat growl at ME!)
renniekins From: renniekins Date: February 10th, 2008 03:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks for saying that, it makes me feel less-bad about thinking these things.

I love the idea of Mark doing the deep-throat growl!!
djinnthespazz From: djinnthespazz Date: February 10th, 2008 03:08 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, but it's scary. He reserves it for when he's REALLY annoyed.
specialagentm From: specialagentm Date: February 10th, 2008 10:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'd echo this. Lilith was a really indifferent kind of cat when she lived with Figaro. Once I got her back here to keep me company after Shadow passed away, she totally changed. Now she's super-sweet, incredibly affectionate, and sees very happy. So there's something to the "competing queens" idea.

I think if someone wanted to give her a good home, it might make her happy to have someplace she could "own" all by herself.
thenisaid From: thenisaid Date: February 10th, 2008 02:13 am (UTC) (Link)
Pepper became so unhappy in the house after Steve and I got divorced that I had to return her to the fostering agency (they have first refusal). She liked me; that wasn't a problem. But she wasn't getting the kind of lap time she was used to because I was never home, and she became angry and started smacking Percy whenever I cut short her lap time or toilet time. It was a very hard decision, but I knew she needed more attention than I could give her and I still hope the fostering agency found a lonely retired person so Pepper could have her heart's desire of being an only cat and the center of attention.
(no subject) - davehogg - Expand
renniekins From: renniekins Date: February 10th, 2008 02:59 am (UTC) (Link)
Do you pet her? Does she sit on your lap?
jeffreyab From: jeffreyab Date: February 10th, 2008 04:42 am (UTC) (Link)
Remind me I need to come over to pet Mocha.

She does like to play with your meds, so you do amuse her.

I have that in our family the female cats are less physically affectionate than the males.

So Mocha could be quite happy the way she currently is.
From: writerwench Date: February 10th, 2008 03:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
We have three cats also - a fluffy Birman brainless cushion, ostensibly male, an 18-year-old white fluffy female, and Purdy - a tricolour 6 year old female. They're all neutered, and Purdy is TWICE the size of either of the other cats, but she's such a scaredy-mouse! She's just neurotic. She'll sit on the back of an easy-chair or sofa, she'll allow you to stroke her - but then bite gently at your hand - she hates being picked up or cuddled.

It's just her way. Some cats just aren't cuddly by nature.
sandygood From: sandygood Date: February 10th, 2008 06:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hi Sweetie,

I have occasionally thought about getting rid of my cats, too. I understand where you're coming from. You love them, but you want to do what's best for all of them. Especially when you're traveling and busy and what not.

Wish we could help, but Wookie is a one cat family cat.
ellison From: ellison Date: February 10th, 2008 07:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's not unreasonable to wonder if she'd be happier elsewhere, and if you do come across a home where you think she'd be really happy, it might even be worth a try. But if not, she's probably not unhappy where she is. She just might have a weird personality. My cat Homer used to not like sitting on laps until I started putting a blanket on my lap and then calling him over. He's 9 now and still won't sit on me unless I have a blanket. Sometimes weird little things like that can help.

The line about her being an accident/not planned made me chuckle. :)
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