I had a dentist appointment this morning. I hadn't been to the dentist in almost 2 years. My old dentist stopped taking my insurance, and the hurdle of finding myself a new dentist was just enough of an excuse to keep me from taking care of it. I didn't want to, so I put it off. And put it off. I enjoyed 21.5 happy dentist-free months, until my guilt finally got the better of me and I did the necessary work to pick a dentist, switch my insurance plan to him, make an appointment, and go.
My stomach hurt all morning in anticipation. I carefully brushed and flossed before work, and didn't eat or drink anything, in the hopes that they would glance in my mouth, pronounce it perfect, and let me leave unmolested.
Obviously it didn't work that way. It wasn't that bad, I suppose. No cavities, at least - what a relief!! But I truly hate the poking and scraping required. I spent the whole time lying in the chair, my hands clasped so tightly the knuckles were yellow-white, trying to maintain a neutral expression on my face and do what I was told. Meanwhile inside my head I was whimpering, "Stop it! Ow! Leave me alone! Aren't you done yet? Hey, ow! You already did that tooth."
Finally the torture ended, and she (the hygienist) relinquished my mouth. My teeth felt all crunchy, polished and clean, if achy. She told me to floss more often, and come every six months. The actual dentist visited just briefly, to glance about, mark a couple of x-rayed teeth to keep an eye on, and tell me to come back in six months. Then they wickedly charged me $5 for my suffering, then they let me leave.
The bastards didn't even give me a free toothbrush.