alpaca princess (renniekins) wrote,
alpaca princess


Tonight my friends invited me to a really cool charity gala event -- they're calling it Prom for Adults. I'm definitely looking forward to it, and I know it will be a good time! However I am simultaneously angsting over it, because I'm going by myself (my bf already had plans that couldn't be changed). Single at the prom.... such fun. And I hate going places by myself, especially places I haven't been before, especially fancy events like this. It sucks. It's just something that's very hard for my particular personality. I don't know why really, but it always has been. [Edit: to clarify, I don't usually dislike being at places/parties/etc by myself, just going there.]

So why am I going? Well I've been single for thirty-seven years. I've done this dozens and dozens of times. Weddings, holiday parties, fancy dinners. I've gone to lots on my own. It never gets easier, but at least I'm used to it. I fully believe that it would be stupid to deprive myself of a fun time just because I don't have some boy to join me. No matter how much I hate the beginning, the getting ready, driving alone, getting lost, finding parking, entering by myself.... I know perfectly well that once I actually get there and find my friends, I'll have a lovely time.

It's basically a question of being brave and doing something that scares me, because I know the reward (a fun fancy party with friends) will be worth it. It's kind of like going to the dentist, or the knee doctor. It sucks and it's scary and sometimes it hurts, but it leads to a better life. Healthier physically, healthier mentally, and better memories with friends. I don't want to be a hermit, even if my introverted tendencies try to push me in that direction.

It will be a fun evening. I know that, this is why I'm going. But right now I'm in the icky Before part, where I fall into Bridget Jones mode... "Do not want to go to scary party."

[Edit: Getting there was stressful and distressing, as anticipated. But once I found my party and found my friends, I proceeded to have a good evening.]
Tags: thoughtful
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