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Things on my mind - cellophane — LiveJournal
the story of an invisible girl
Things on my mind
1. My job has taken a turn for the better. After a roller-coaster January and part of February, during which my new consulting firm shuffled me from client to client to the bench, I was finally been placed at a new client site two weeks ago. This one looks like it's a "keeper", and I think I can do good work here. I like the people, and although the work is pretty chaotic and crazy, I think it'll be interesting.

2. The fact that I'm so new at this client site means I can't go with M to Italy in March. He's been planning this trip with several friends for months, and I had been hoping to join them, but then my job cancellation messed everything up. Back in January it still looked like it might work, then the above-mentioned roller coaster occurred. Now I'm just too new at this position to take a week off so soon. Thus I stay home while M goes on vacation without me. I'm extremely sad and disappointed, but I have to do my best to keep focused on the important thing: at least I have a job, and a good one, that I'm pleased with. I asked on monday, just in case it could be made to work, but it's just not feasible. I was broken-hearted by the answer, much more so than I thought I'd be... but then I've been hoping for months that this could work out, even while everything gradually got more and more chaotic and impossible. I got home last night and had a good cry. But I'm done with the tears now. Oh well. I'm happy to have this job anyway. Just wish it was somehow possible to do both.

3. My left knee hurts, and it's so frustrating. Worse yet, I don't have very high hopes for a medical solution. From what I've read I'm too young and healthy for a knee replacement, but the damage is too advanced to be resolved with some of the other approaches. Advanced degenerative joint disease sounds a little cooler than just calling it osteo-arthritis, but both of those sound like old people's issues. But I'm not old! Just my knee is. I've started taking these Glucosamine/Chondroitin supplements, and I'm hoping they make a difference. I've read some good studies about them. I probably need to go talk to my new knee doctor sometime in the nearish future, and see if he has any further ideas. It's possible that a scope would help. It's also possible that a scope would just make it hurt for awhile, then get back to its current state. (Option 1 I'm all for. The problem is that option 2 would be so disappointing!)

4. How do two grownups with houses and jobs that aren't near to one another start thinking about ways to consolidate into just one home? In this housing market, no less?? There are so many logistical hurdles, I find myself overwhelmed just thinking about it. It would be nice though.

5. I've been having dizzy spells - vertigo issues - for the past week or so. When my head changes orientation, the world suddenly starts to spin disorientingly. For example, I'll tip my head back to finish the last of a drink, and it will feel like it will just keep tipping forever, and the world is sliding out from underneath it. Or I'll lay down on the bed, and the bed will start spinning around me. It'd kind of like being drunk -- but I get all the fun, and none of the hangover! The good thing is that the sensation only lasts a few seconds, then I'm fine and oriented again. It's a little odd, nonetheless. They seem to be fading now, which is good. I've experienced this a few times before, and they're creepy, but they've always gone away.

6. I'm cold. Now that I can't go to Italy, I've been thinking I should take a weekend trip. Somewhere warm perhaps. Anyone interested?

7. My mom can and stayed with me over the weekend, because she had a skating competition to attend. My mom is not a great skater, but she enjoys it. She started as an adult... in fact she started around my age! It made me miss skating, and miss competing. It made me wonder if I should try adult singles, like my mom and many other adults were doing this weekend. Or if I should try to join a synchro team again. ...and, it made me wonder what I'm doing. Right now I haven't skated since December. I was trying to skate a couple of times a week, and pass my Junior Moves, but honestly it was hurting my knee quite a bit. It has made me wonder if maybe I should give up skating altogether. But I miss the thrill of competition, the hard work and the rewards. I haven't found that same satisfaction in anything else I've tried yet.

8. I've been thinking about things that I enjoy. When I was having my little pity party yesterday, I was thinking that I should spend that week doing other things I like to do, but I couldn't think of anything that I like to do. But that's not true, in fact I've dabbled in and enjoyed lots of hobbies. The problem is sticking with them enough to really thrive in any of them. (the other problem is that many of them will probably hurt my knee.)

Singing. Dance clubs. Bicycling. Figure skating. Performing. Winning. Playing Cards. Skiing. Racquetball. Watching movies. Comedy clubs. Rock climbing. Eating out with friends. Live theater. Motorcycling. Softball. Art. Playing piano. Traveling. Playing cello. Pilates. Dancing classes. Writing. Listening to music. Walking/hiking. Plus I'm sure there is more that just hasn't popped into my brain yet....

9. Why don't I spend more time doing any of these things? This requires some consideration. Part of it is probably what I'm not hooked into a group of friends doing these things - so many activities are better shared. So also, anybody want to do any of these things with me?

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(Deleted comment)
renniekins From: renniekins Date: February 26th, 2009 01:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
I got the liquid stuff because I've read it kicks in faster. Hopefully that turns out to be true!
From: tonycaselli Date: February 25th, 2009 05:10 am (UTC) (Link)
Glad to hear the job stuff is getting better, but YIKES! Vertigo is no fun! And I hope your knee clears up with the new supplements!
renniekins From: renniekins Date: February 26th, 2009 01:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! Fortunately the vertigo seems to be going away, and the new job seems to be staying. Both going in the ideal direction!
drgnfly From: drgnfly Date: February 25th, 2009 05:16 am (UTC) (Link)
I'll do things with you! :)
renniekins From: renniekins Date: February 26th, 2009 01:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Awesome! Let's plan something.
hannunvaakuna From: hannunvaakuna Date: February 25th, 2009 05:41 am (UTC) (Link)
if we can plan it right, we can squeeze eating out with friends, dance clubs, playing cards & watching movies into one weekend!

renniekins From: renniekins Date: February 26th, 2009 01:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
ooooooohhhhhhh, I like that idea. :D
pi3832 From: pi3832 Date: February 25th, 2009 06:27 am (UTC) (Link)
How's the Big Sister thing going?

You should go somewhere and snorkel. I've never been snorkeling, myself, but really want to try. If you'll pay my way, I'll go with you and make you laugh when you're nervous.

Edited at 2009-02-25 06:27 am (UTC)
renniekins From: renniekins Date: February 26th, 2009 01:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
My LS and I have drifted apart, sadly. I need to get back in touch with her. She's a difficult person to be friends with.
crwilley From: crwilley Date: February 25th, 2009 12:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
Jeez. Is there an epidemic of vertigo going around? I had the same thing last fall, and several of my relatives have since then.

The condition is caused by a calcium carbonate crystal getting lodged in the fluid-filled tubes in your ear that detect whether you're balanced. Basically, one tube gets plugged up, so when you turn your head, five of them send a "we just turned" signal to the brain, and the sixth one doesn't, and the brain is confused. My doctor gave me a physical therapy routine to do that seemed to help - I can send you details if you want.
elizilla From: elizilla Date: February 25th, 2009 09:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
Interesting. I have been feeling this too, the last week or two. I'd been assuming it was a low grade cold or something like that. But a month ago I started on a massive vitamin D dosage prescribed by my doctor because blood tests showed me deeply deficient in it. I wonder if the extra D is causing calcium buildup in my ears?
crwilley From: crwilley Date: February 26th, 2009 01:35 am (UTC) (Link)
Apparently the crystals are normally in the ear, and part of the balance system - they dangle off fine hairs, probably to help determine "down". But sometimes they break loose.

I'd never heard of this before the doctor told me what was causing the dizziness - the medical name is "Benign Positional Paroxysmal Vertigo". Nobody in my family had heard of it either - but since last November, I've had it, my mom has had it, my grandma has had it, and my mother-in-law has had it.

I think this is renniekins's problem, because she mentioned dizziness when she turns her head - blood pressure would cause dizziness when you stand up from a sitting position.

An ear doctor may have been trained in a really quick procedure that will fix it right on the spot - but I went to my GP, and she didn't know it, so she gave me the "home game" version, which took about four days to really fix me up.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: February 26th, 2009 01:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wow! That sucks your family is all going through it -- but thanks for the info. Gives me something to research and try. Mine seems to be fading now on its own, but I've encountered it a couple of times in the past too.
encorecrazay From: encorecrazay Date: February 25th, 2009 12:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've been having dizzy spells - vertigo issues
Maybe you should start checking your blood pressure
renniekins From: renniekins Date: February 26th, 2009 01:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
110/76 - sounds pretty normal.
encorecrazay From: encorecrazay Date: February 26th, 2009 01:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's pretty good, actually, more of where they think it should be than the 120/80, but with all the dizziness, it wouldn't hurt to get a cheap automatic bp device from Walgreens or such to check yourself out when you're getting those spells.
From: writerwench Date: February 25th, 2009 02:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
Glucosamine is excellent for joints, as is turmeric (available in tablet form, very concentrated - the normal culinary spice doesn't work) and shark's cartilage (tablet and ointment). And, of course, good old cod liver oil. You've put a lot of strain on that knee, with biking, skating and ski-ing, and I guess even at your age a replacement is on the cards, eventually.

Sorry you won't make Italy next month - that really is a bummer! I hope you have a reasonable substitute later on.
infernus1218 From: infernus1218 Date: February 25th, 2009 04:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
I cancelled my Italy trip because my current contract ends on Friday and I don't have anything lined up.

I am not loving this new economy, and I am definitely not loving this contracting thing that I have been forced into because of this economy.

I feel your pain.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: February 26th, 2009 01:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ugh, my sympathies as well.
amanda_lodden From: amanda_lodden Date: February 25th, 2009 05:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'll second the earlier comments about sticking with the glucosamine and about having your blood pressure monitored (or even just a more generic "see a doctor about the vertigo")

I've found that some light yoga does wonders for my knees. Often, knee pain is ultimately caused your quadriceps being too tight, and stretching them releases the knee back to where it ought to be. Half camels are my best friend (kneel, stretch one hand back to grab the ankle on the same side, stretch the other hand outward to help yourself balance. Repeat on the other side).
mariegraham From: mariegraham Date: February 25th, 2009 06:35 pm (UTC) (Link)


You are not old! Nor is your knee. You just have worked it harder than most people do theirs. Your knee has lived intensely and well.
renniekins From: renniekins Date: February 26th, 2009 01:12 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: knee

But I don't want to think "it's had a good life", because that may be implying it's ready to go! I'm NOT ready for it to go yet, I have a lot of things I want to do with it still!
ms_hecubus From: ms_hecubus Date: February 26th, 2009 01:52 am (UTC) (Link)
It's ridiculous you have to be elderly to get a knee replacement. Wouldn't it be a better option for someone with many years and a lot of knee using left?

If you want a break from it I'll trade you my tennis elbow for a while. I'm tired of not being able to grasp anything and I kinda need to if I'm going to be ripping out cabinets, installing tile and even painting. :(
renniekins From: renniekins Date: February 26th, 2009 01:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
The problem (according to my reading) is that knee replacements only last about 10 years or so. Also, a second one is nowhere near as effective as the first. So they try to delay it as long as possible, in the hopes that one will last.

Hmm, tempting... wouldn't it be nice if we could easily trade back and forth when it was convenient!
ms_hecubus From: ms_hecubus Date: February 26th, 2009 03:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
Shoot! And here I thought we could fix you, that we could make you better, that we had the technology. I guess a six million dollar Rennie is in a distant future. ;)
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