alpaca princess (renniekins) wrote,
alpaca princess
renniekins

Whirling

It's been a manic-depressive couple of months for me. Not in the actual bipolar sense, I should hasten to add -- just in the older sense, of whirling from manically happy to depressed on an unpredictable and daily basis.

The good stuff is very good. My job is challenging and rewarding, and I like the people I work with. My relationship makes me very happy. M remains sweet, funny, and somebody I want to keep around in my life. I want to spend more time with him -- and therein lies the problem.

The depressing part is just how hard that is, to spend more time together. Specifically, to move in together. It's weird, really. I mean so many people do this stuff all the time, and they make it look so easy. Fall in love, move in, do other things, sometimes all within the space of months!

For us, the challenge of consolidating from two houses to one seems almost insurmountable. I thought we had a plan figured out, beginning with putting my house on the market. But here it is nearing the end of October and although many have looked at it, nobody has made an offer on my house. Not even a bad one, let alone a good one! The market here is awful right now. I've lost hope; I don't think it will sell this year. I'm still going through the motions of fixing it up every morning in case there is a showing, but I don't really expect anyone else to come. (although I still wish they would.)

It makes me so sad. How can we get to the place we really want to be, which is a third yet-unseen house that will comfortably accommodate both of us, if we can't even sell the house we thought would be easiest to sell? It also makes me sad because we have both waited so long, looking for each other. I wish it could be easier, now that we're found. I want to move on to the next step, move forward in this relationship, see where it leads.

I realize I don't have to sell my house to do that, and we're starting to investigate other options, but it sure would have been easier if I could.
Tags: dating, house
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