alpaca princess (renniekins) wrote,
alpaca princess
renniekins

Fun weight-loss tips I found

Sex Calories

It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now after original and proprietary research they are proud to present the results.

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands........................ 8 Calories
With one hand.......................... 22 Calories
With your teeth........................ 85 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection....................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 992 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary............................. 112 Calories
69 lying down.......................... 178 Calories
69 standing up......................... 312 Calories
Wheelbarrow............................ 386 Calories
Doggy Style............................ 400 Calories
Italian chandelier..................... 972 Calories

ORGASMING:
Real................................... 112 Calories
Fake.................................. 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
40-49 years............................ 124 Calories
50-59 years............................ 972 Calories
60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
70 and over......................... Results are still pending

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories
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